LOS ANGELES — Sacramento-based punk and local chef Tina “Snot” McLain won the dinner round of the hit cooking show “Chopped” last night with a…
COLUMBIA, Md. – Non-confrontational wuss Samuel Bleck took out decades of built-up frustration today by open-palm slapping drywall in his home and leaving a mild…
My step-dad was always a hard ass. He’d embarrass me in front of my friends, emasculate me in front of my partners, and kept me…
GREAT BARRINGTON, Mass. — Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan stood up to speak last night at an assembly about the current state of the education…
KIRBY, Wyo. — Local woman Madison Fuller announced today via multiple social media platforms that she is expecting to be a MILF sometime around mid-June…
HOMER, Ala. — The emotional affair between English teacher Lara Palledorous and her co-worker Allessandro Reyes resulted in a sweaty, purely physical and entirely literal…
It starts earlier every year. The lights, the music, the “harmless” lies that make children think the world gives a damn about their little wants…
LIVONIA, Mich. — A group of punk Christmas carolers regretted their choice to include The Misfits’ classic “Last Caress” in their repertoire after it was…
ST. LOUIS — Acquaintances of chronically fatigued punk Anthony Mafodda are reportedly perplexed by the rocker’s nocturnal habit of sheathing each individual point of his…
LOS ANGELES — Local woman Shelby Walsh announced yesterday that she’s “turned over a new leaf,” rebranding her tumultuous personal life as “her journey,” several…
Me – A gorgeous firefighter that is also a devoted single-father to a little girl named Holly. Holly lost her mother to an unnamed disease…
VACAVILLE, Calif. — Local Papa Roach fan Danny Herman scurried out of a Circle K this morning in apparent good health, despite being decapitated in…
DALLAS — Singer-songwriter and registered sex offender Wilfred Barton announcded his first tour dates at a press conference held yesterday afternoon since pleading guilty to…
NORMAN, Okla. — A surprising new study found that it’s way easier to just change your password every time you login instead of trying to…
Smash. The. Patriarchy. As we exit 2019 and enter the new roaring ‘20s it’s time to dispel the myth that a cis white male can…