MILAN, Italy — The incorporeal specter that has haunted the historic La Scala opera house for more than two centuries recently came to accept the…
AUBURN, Maine — Local resident Charles Brennan’s screen door proved to be an effective way to measure the sobriety of guests at his house party…
Okay, I’ll only admit it, I only got this tattoo because I want people to ask me about it. Just thinking about the flood of…
ENON, Ohio — Musician and fry cook, Cody Landon, has grown weary of being called “Rock Star” at his place of employment after his coworkers…
Whether we’re judging how attractive young starlets look in designer gowns, or celebrating white people profiting off the talent of Black musicians, there is always…
Welcome to the simulation. For some time now people have noticed what appear to be glitches in the timeline, inconsistencies between hard copy media and…
BUTLER, Pa. — Local lesbian Katie Hargrove recently came to the horrifying realization that she is becoming her father, sources currently standing at her window…
It seems like every passing year the line between what is and is not punk becomes murkier, so I want to draw a line in…
HOUSTON — Local punk Colin “Colonic” Birch continues to refer to his parents’ guest house, a two-bedroom A-frame with pool access where he has lived…
MILWAUKEE — Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis dramatically strode forward from the shadows after the word “California” was uttered in conversation by several…
Where is the excitement these days? Whatever happened to the little joys in life that made us so happy when we were young? Where are…
GLENDALE, Calif. — Local musician Charlie Clarke is reportedly threatening to join the growing boycott of Spotify and stop using the account that linked to…
It’s always embarrassing when people come to your home and it’s one of the 358 days out of the year that your place is a…
It’s been a while since I’ve been to a show and my friend’s band is playing tonight. My plan was to jump back into my…
JERUSALEM — Archeologists from Brown University made a bombshell discovery late last week in a long-lost scripture describing Jesus being super rude to the waiter…