MEADVILLE, Penn. — A week before his child abuse trial, local priest Justin Canthorne continues to cast himself as a “misunderstood iconoclast,” according to the…
At ease, soldier! Just kidding, I know you’re not in the military. Don’t tell anyone but neither am I. But it’s authentic-sounding phrases like that,…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local punk and self-declared “dish-truther” Sammy Gladwin has been reported by multiple sources as using both sides of plates to save on…
Despite what your self-help podcast might say, it’s very easy to have too much of a good thing. No truer is this than in Hollywood,…
WASHINGTON — President Joe Biden signed an executive order immediately dispatching 5,000 scrappy, Italian-American, mush-mouthed boxers to pose a metaphorical threat to the Russians who…
As a Socialist, I fucking love the library. Forget Starbucks because the library is the last REAL third space in the capitalist wasteland of Lafayette,…
CLEVELAND – The local punk scene was fractured and irreparably divided after Fight for Disorder’s long-time frontman Gary Hench was caught praising the establishment and…
My name is Harley Murgatroyd and Glenn Danzig wants me dead. Countless times the man has threatened my life, from putting knives in me to…
LOS ANGELES — Literary agent and frequent binge drinker Lana Delano has no idea that despite her protests, California’s statewide 2 a.m. last call is…
Weeding through dating apps can be a really discouraging headache. After a while it all just becomes one big blur of way too instagramable selfies…
WASHINGTON — The Straight Edge Supreme Court will hear arguments this week in the case of Lewis v. Monster Energy which could overturn the landmark…
Well, here we are, the McDonald’s near the park with all the ducks. No dried smears of ketchup on every other table, no divorced dads…
LOS ANGELES — The recently-released porn parody of edgy and controversial teen drama “Euphoria,” titled “Screw-phoria,” is stirring controversy for being “lame” and “weirdly wholesome”…
Okay, I get that the era of the heavy metal guitar god is long gone. That’s why it’s up to dedicated old school metalheads such…
MESA, Ariz. — Local metal fan and staunch supporter of personality responsibility, Damon Rogalski was visibly annoyed when he was forced to show his vaccination…