America’s bizarre fascination with cartoon cats has existed for the entirety of our country’s existence, originating with a tortie that Alexander Hamilton doodled in the…
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A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, kinks were very much alive and well. The struggle against the Empire is so all-consuming…
Names used to mean something. They carried weight, tradition, and integrity. But not, apparently, for Wildflower Trading Post and Gifts—an establishment as far removed from…
SEATTLE — Highly sought-after emotional support golden retriever Dr. Buttons Wigglesworth was reportedly not accepting new patients due to unusually high demand for her services,…
LOS ANGELES — Local animal lover Rav Chandran is “riding a high like never before” after bumping into a dog that was nearly identical to…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local 20-somethings Ashton Knoll and Kevin Stohl were approved yesterday for a second mortgage on their fiddle leaf fig tree, which the…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Guests attending the wedding of Michaela Hill and Carlos Gibson were forced to admit to themselves that the bride, far from…
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. — First Lady Melania Trump was apprehended by Florida election officials this morning after being caught furiously stuffing phony ballots for…
Oh boy. I just shit my pants. Yup. On an evening walk across the Del Taco parking lot, I shit my pants. As I type…
LOS ANGELES –– Local man Eric Daniels’ social media post featuring his dog had an awfully long caption for a pet who isn’t even dead…
Declawing an animal is a barbaric and sadistic practice and mainstream society is finally starting to take notice. Some states, including Jersey, have even gone…
Dear Scabby: I just got out of a five-month relationship, but find myself eager to start dating again. Out of respect, I think I should…
Dear Scabby: I’m a metal dude from Mikwaukee who’s moving to NYC but I can’t afford to live in Greenpoint, where else can I find…
CINCINNATI — Local music enthusiast David Grabow keeps a sleeve of CDs in his car on his driver’s side sun-visor “just in case,” despite having…
COTUIT, Mass. – Local merchandise legend Marky Merch, well known for encouraging people to purchase larger-sized T-shirts because “they will shrink,” had a near-death experience…
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