LOS ANGELES — Dead Kennedy’s superfan Mike Luger was in for a surprise today after he discovered that his new Jello Biafra GPS voice was…
Countless American men of various beard lengths own a truck or Yeti tumbler covered in Punisher skull stickers. Often, this sticker accompanies their other trademark…
Hows this for High Strangeness — my wife, whose supposed to be with me forever, is leaving me. Actually, I’m going to redact that and…
You recently just met the person of your dreams. They’re hot and they make eye contact with you. Every time you think about them you…
NASHVILLE — Controversial country singer Jason Aldean recently penned a solemn ode to the Boston police officer who rapidly tumbled down a children’s slide, sources…
AUSTIN, Texas — Lady Nocturne, the founder and sole member of anonymous black metal project Broken Widow, admitted her secret identity only exists to spare…
LINCOLN, Mass. — Local homeowner Shauneese Fortenberry was surprised to receive a “punk” singing telegram yesterday that left the entire front of her house in…
Working the teen beat for the Hard Times can be a challenge. We’re not exactly the site’s most prized section and we haven’t even gotten…
SHEFFIELD, England – Local music fan Dale Morton was physically removed by venue staff from last night’s show after repeatedly screaming requests at ambient musician…
KANSAS CITY, Mo.— Local man Zane Starzyk is beside himself with stress and frustration after taking a mental health day that completely fucked up the…
There’s nothing we millennials love more than a tall, cold glass of nostalgia. We were raised on Pogs, Beanie Babies, and beauty standards of a…
Oh shit, Mom just said she and Steve ordered pizza and they got us mozzarella sticks! It’s time to wave the checkered flag and throw…
PORTLAND, Maine — Police were forced to drop all charges against local metalhead Bryant Newman after Newman was able to use the shirt he purchased…
It’s been said that the key to longevity as a band is as simple as never breaking up. One wouldn’t be blamed for assuming that…
Let’s get this out in the open: these rankings are definitive, and we will fight every single person with a fucked-up “Jane Doe’ stick and…