Well, this is not promising. The group sex hasn’t even started yet and already half the people in this candlelit chateau are already harmoniously chanting…
SALT LAKE CITY — Local Metal Singer Caleb Blackburn recently found that the secret to honing his screaming skills is to attempt to have any…
Turns out, D.A.R.E. is more than just a t-shirt worn by people who do drugs recreationally. It’s also an education program aimed at deterring kids…
COLUMBUS, Ohio —Notoriously weird bands Primus and Puscifer announced a joint headlining show at an upcoming Unbearable Tinder Date Convention which expects to draw thousands…
OKLAHOMA CITY — Punk fan Tamara Washington recently saw a perfectly smokable cigarette butt on the ground from more than 33,000 feet in the air…
Son, you know that I love you, but we need to sit down and talk about something. The language you’ve been using around the house…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Governor Gavin Newson signed a historic bill that would require all residents to undergo a seven-day waiting period before purchasing podcast equipment,…
This album ranking piece may cause you to disappear, devastate the ozone, murder someone to see if you can resurrect ‘em, rebrand your persona, and…
Halloween is here and that means my children will be coming home with a pillowcase full of sugary treats for me to steal. Unfortunately, my…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local vegan child Jackson Lavigne asked his friends if anyone planned to eat the Smarties and that he’d even be willing to…
LAS VEGAS — Local trick-or-treaters at Fat Mike’s house were sadly let down after receiving copies of NOFX’s release “The Decline” in lieu of candy,…
If you’ve ever been to a trendy coffee shop, you’ve seen someone sitting in an overstuffed armchair, conspicuously keeping track of the multiple bookmarks stuck…
POWAY, Calif. – Local mother Faye Leidersman was horrified after finding a copy of Blink-182’s new album ‘One More Time’ in her child’s bag of…
Ah, Halloween! The Octoberest holiday. The only major holiday that doesn’t have a whole bunch of annoying-ass rules about how you can celebrate it, but…
LAS VEGAS — Former Vice President Mike Pence dropped out of the 2024 presidential race Saturday after grazing a door knob previously touched by a…