Congratulations, you finally scored a date. But things only get more difficult from here. Where do you go on the date? But more importantly, which one of the Slipknot masks should you wear to really impress the future love of your life? Today we do the hard work so you can rest easy, read on.
12. Corey Taylor
Corey Taylor’s “The End So Far”-era mask is a masterclass in not getting that second date. Dead eyes, rictus grimace, lack of tan, it’s a recipe for getting left at the restaurant with the bill after your date shimmies out of a bathroom window and runs for their life.
11. Chris Fehn
Chris Fehn’s mask has a distinctive feature that may or may not work on a first date. The long phallic nose on an otherwise normally horrific gimp mask is a real make-or-break. Is he compensating for something? Does the mask stay on in the bedroom? Can he stop knocking over wine glasses with that thing? In the end, it does create a distancing effect that might make it hard to connect on a first date.
10. Craig Jones
Throughout his Slipknot career, Craig Jones has barely changed his look: a gimp mask bedecked with long-ass nails. So if your date is into BDSM, the gimp mask part is a winner. The downside is that the nails are always going to be a barrier to intimacy and your pillows are going to be toast.
9. Paul Gray
Pigs are cute, cut off pig faces less so. Paul Gray’s mask from Slipknot’s self-titled debut album is an image of porcine death staring out from blank eyes that will guarantee that your date becomes a vegan by the end of the night and puts a kibosh on a second date. That’ll not do, pig.
8. Jay Weinberg
During the ‘We Are Not Your Kind” era when the masks were pretty weak, Jay Weinberg’s Hannibal Lector-style mask was a standout. Staples across the mouth, pentagram carved into the forehead, this is the mask you wear on the first date provided you’re going for a certain type of romantic partner: a satanist who owns an industrial staple remover.
7. Alessandro Venturella
Yes, Alessandro Venturella’s “The End, So Far” mask makes him look like a burn victim, but if you squint he’s got some of that Deadpool without the mask to him. If your date likes Ryan Reynolds in heavy prosthetics, you might be in for a chance of a second date. Just don’t act like Deadpool or Ryan Reynolds and you should be fine.
6. Jim Root
Jim Root’s evil harlequin mask has been gradually losing parts as the years went on going from full face mask to Phantom of the Opera-style with exposed face and beard. To keep some mystique, wear his “Subliminal Verses” era mask as it is the most “handsome” of the bunch and there’s enough white space on it, your date could write her phone number on it or just draw some doodles if they get bored.
5. Tortilla Man
Tortilla Man’s mask for “The End, So Far” is a goddamn nightmare for a variety of reasons. The freaky eyes, mouth rivets and zipper, and the fact it looks like it is made of human skin is all pretty horrific, but that Dracula collar saves the day by saying that yeah, I look like I cooked and ate a human being, but I also ate this sick-ass collar. Perfect statement dressing for a first date.
Clown’s mask for “Vol 3.” (The Subliminal Verses) at first might elicit sympathy from your date as they wonder what kind of accident required that level of haphazard bandage work. They’ll also be impressed that post whatever industrial accident you may have had, you still made the date, that’s commitment and that means something.
3. Sid Wilson
Sid Wilson’s gas mask look is a bit 2000-22 COVID-chic but who doesn’t want a person interested in safety? For a first date, we’d suggest specifically his “Slipknot” era mask which was his gassiest. Of course, the mask might be protection from noxious fumes, it won’t hide the fact that Wilson is a DJ, which is something no one wants to think about on a first date.
2. Joey Jordison
Jordy Jordison’s mask for “All Hope is Gone” was heavily Jesus-themed so wearing it is a big swing. However, if your date is religious it might work. They may have a crush on Christ, a need for the Nazarene, and there you are: thorn-crowned in Olive Garden just as the Bible foretold.
1. Mick Thompson
Any of Mick Thompson’s looks will be best for impressing on a first date. All of his masks are modeled on a hockey mask so full face covering, big wide eyes, and a covered mouth. Show your date you can emote with those baby blues and also, as your mouth is sealed shut, you’re a great listener.