Municipal Waste are the premier crossover thrash band from Richmond, Virginia, and for most of their existence has been composed of the core quartet of…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Doctors across the country warned new and prospective parents that excessive use of white noise machines might lead infants to start drone…
Christmas is almost here, which means it’s time to get together and connect with the people nearest and dearest to you. No, not your family,…
ST. LOUIS, Mo. — The annual holiday gift exchange at Clarkson Valley Police Department consisted entirely of Punisher items for the fifth year in a…
Remember the Noid? In the 1980s, he ruined pizza, insofar as Domino’s can be ruined any more than it already is by simply existing. That…
Seattle, Washington’s Alice in Chains is such an influential/groundbreaking rock that your favorite act and ours, Godsmack, named themselves after one of their songs, and…
BOSTON — Studies conducted at MIT show that when visiting a Chipotle Mexican Grill location, the person in front of you will always be a…
SAN DIEGO — Local man Andrew Hannigan was disappointed after joining a cult he incorrectly assumed was centered around depraved sexual activity, sources confirm. “Well,…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. – Local man Paul Costas disappeared after trying to tie his shoes in the midst of a forming pit at a beatdown…
As someone who tends to curate playlists, I always get excited to see my end of the year Spotify Wrapped, because it typically just shows…
Los Angeles-based punk/alternative label SideOneDummy was founded in 1995, the year that Rancid, Alanis Morissette, The Presidents of the United States of America, Foo Fighters,…
DENVER — Local woman Margaret Phelmer is reportedly struggling to embrace her new polyamorous lifestyle following a disastrous haircut, concerned sources confirm. “I went to…
Congratulations, you’re back at a family gathering and tolerating it as long as you can. Time for your mom to grab that karaoke mic, bust…
SOUTHBRIDGE, Mass.–Newly 40-year-old man Gregory Chaudhari is experiencing a new type of mid-life crisis like many others his age–the inability to afford one. “In my…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Local punk dog Rex Pistols reportedly refuses to eat anything but Doc Martens boots, puzzled sources confirmed. “Hell no, I’m not eating…