If the last few years have taught us anything, it’s that life is precious and we need to protect our mental health at all costs.…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Local Lord of the Rings Fan Eldridge Carey has shared his overwhelming appreciation for “the detail and nuance” within current Taylor Swift…
The holidays are a time of family, reflection, and raw-doggin’ in the back of the sleigh. And what better mood music to get your nipple…
The holidays are right around the corner, and you’re looking for the perfect gift for friends. Or maybe you’re even dropping heavy hints in front…
MIAMI — Local sales associate Alice Thompson recently filed for workers’ compensation after claiming her retail store made her perform under “‘vigorous conditions” due to…
Hey guys, first off I have to thank you for your patience in waiting for this update. After I broke into Area 51 to find…
If “Pony,” Far’s cover of Ginuwine’s third-wave ska-punk masterpiece, is the only song that you know of from the Sacramento, California four-piece, you need to…
MONTAGUE, Mass. — Local man Jack Callahan is reportedly on day two of trying to type his overly complicated Disney+ password using the remote for…
We see a lot of comments saying “The Hard Times used to be good” and today we provide you with definitive proof that we have…
The Mountain Goats’ sound could be likened to the reality of being a weekend dad set in a minor key. As we’ve discussed before, the…
INDIANAPOLIS — Local man, and Duolingo enthusiast, Brandon Cole horrified friends and acquaintances gathered at an Italian restaurant when he attempted to order food for…
We’re now over a year into the national Adderall shortage that’s put a strain on millions of Americans who struggle with ADHD. This situation has…
Late 90s/early aughts hard rock bands that couldn’t get a good word written about ‘em via the elitist press at the time like Creed, Nickelback,…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local record collector Eliza Vernon reported being distraught and is demanding a refund after the owner of Infinity Vinyl failed to compliment…
For many of us, the task of cultivating the tastes, opinions, and dispositions that constitute an earnest human personality is just too daunting. Luckily the…