SAN JOSE, Calif. — Breaking university-level research revealed the unpleasant truth that the sought-after record you’ve been looking for your whole life was in the…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local deadbeat Griffin Carson adopted the stance of vinyl-only “audiophile” coinciding with his ex-girlfriend’s understandable decision to remove him from her Spotify…
CHICAGO — Local stoner Zach Murray, who recently purchased a vinyl glow-in-the-dark copy of The Mars Volta’s sophomore album “Frances the Mute,” is reportedly unaware…
WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Independent record shop Columbia Flophouse somberly announced the business’s going-out-of-business sale nearly two full weeks before the store was scheduled to…
SOMERVILLE, Mass. — Local man Malcolm Evans recently purchased a limited edition $200 red and gold swirl copy of “Jane Doe” and plays it nonstop…
SESAME STREET — The owner of used record store Mono Mono (Doot-Doo DooDooDoo) rejected a large clutch of records from longtime Street resident Cookie Monster…
AKRON, Ohio — Local scene legend and bartender William Lindberg admitted his dreams of retiring in his fifties or sixties depends solely on which of…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local record collector Eliza Vernon reported being distraught and is demanding a refund after the owner of Infinity Vinyl failed to compliment…
ITHACA, N.Y. — A new report conducted by local baby boomer Paul Rundle states that vinyl, which he used to own “tons of” back in…
PITTSBURGH — Owner of the Sound Spynners record shop Dale Randly once again released a pack of vicious dogs on shoppers who compared their prices…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Local vinyl pressing plant employee John Rolland pressed a limited-edition “egg salad vinyl” version of Last Ritual’s debut LP after dropping his…
NEW YORK — Lifelong Neutral Milk Hotel fan Connor Hardin recently purchased the band’s new vinyl box set online only to be surprised that the…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Die-hard calendar enthusiast John Beltran hoped the thin, square present under the Christmas Tree at his parent’s house isn’t actually a lame,…
BOSTON — Merriam-Webster caused 45-year-olds across the country to collectively blow a gasket by adding “vinyls” as an official entry to their list of recognized…
LOS ANGELES — Psych-rockers Flute Gingrich appeared on the popular Amoeba Records Youtube series “What’s in my Bag?” and instead of choosing a handful of…