Tim Graham
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KINGSTON, N.Y. — Local tattooist Eddie Greer’s proud tale of drunken excess bears a close resemblance to his friend’s worst…
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Sarah Cortina
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NEW YORK — New York Mayor-Elect Zohran Mamdani revealed that plans for his mayoral term will include providing shitty local…
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Ben Friedman
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ARLINGTON, Va. — PBS surprised viewers that a new documentary from acclaimed documentarian Ken Burns titled “History of Grindcore” clocked…
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Reece Napierski
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WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced plans for Stephen Miller to receive a Christmas bonus of $1488, confirmed sources. "They…
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Bill Conway
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WASHINGTON — President Trump is reportedly instructing the Justice Department to look into instances of voter fraud at Thrasher Magazine…
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Matt Husser
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WASHINGTON — C-SPAN unveiled an effort to spice up their political coverage today by introducing a kiss cam during live…
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Rob Steinberg
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ENCINITAS, La. — Professional skateboarder Anthony Hawk felt exhausted as yet another outing outside his home resulted in a “Police…
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Trevor Graham
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DENVER — A local mediocre man spent several days feeling proud about himself after outsmarting a housefly that had been…
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Mike Moran
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FRESNO, Calif. — Local man Brett Motts recently monopolized the final 22 seconds of a mutual copulation exchange, reiterating repeatedly…
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Matt Husser
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CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple CEO Tim Cook unveiled the next generation iPhone today, a new disposable single-use iPhone Loosie, sources…
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