MINNEAPOLIS — Officer Dale Kisserman of Minneapolis’s Third Precinct returned to work earlier today after a mandatory administrative leave with a rejuvenated sense of bloodlust…
MILWAUKEE — Legendary beer brand Pabst Blue Ribbon made the bold decision to rebrand their classic lager as a bread-flavored hard seltzer after reviewing recent…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local interior designer Sara “Slime” Gonzales gave Maggot House a much-needed makeover after convincing its residents to expand their floor plan by…
IRVINE, Calif. — Local woman Jasmine Dreskel put a stop to her boyfriend’s sexual advances after noticing his custom lovemaking playlist curiously contained several Weird…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich — Local meadery Springs of Fangorn closed early today when owner Mark Gray realized all of his staff had tickets to see…
ATLANTA — A 1996 Ford Econoline E-150 is spending its retirement transporting guests of the Holiday Inn safely to and from Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport after…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. – A new album by melodic metal band Die Versity was described as “intriguing but unfocused,” by Rachel Pompey, a music fan with…
DENTON, Texas — Lifelong wrestling enthusiast Ryland Reeves reportedly attended a poetry slam at Circe Coffee under the assumption that it was a match, sources…
January 6th, 2021 was one of the strangest days in American history. A group of rebels that love America and everything it stands for tried…
WHEELING, W. Va. — Unemployed hardcore punk singer Lyle “Coccyx” Plant is seeking employment with a resume consisting solely of fistfights and crew battles in…
BURBANK, Calif. – Disney announced that the highly-anticipated third season of their hit series “The Mandalorian” will focus on Yoda as a teenager and his…
WASHINGTON — Embattled Rep. Kevin McCarthy offered Republican colleagues two over-the-pants handjobs, redeemable at any time within his term, if they agree to vote for…
BALTIMORE – A pair of thigh-high Chuck Taylors owned by local woman Heidi Sanders were finally removed just moments before she was set to head…
NEW YORK — Local barista and music know-it-all Nathaniel Pellson claimed he knew Canadian band Nickelback long before they weren’t cool, sources who didn’t quite…
ORLANDO, Fla. — A new long sleeve shirt design for death metal band Gorebomb is confusing fans with its overwhelming amount of designs plastered all…