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5 Awesome Fashion Hacks to Tell the World “I Absorbed My Twin in the Womb!”

Fashion trends come and go, but true style is deeply personal and unique. Clothing isn’t just something you wear or use to express your superiority in terms of band tees you chose to purchase from the local Buffalo Exchange. It tells the world that here I am, and no one is like me! Especially not any twin whom you overpowered during gestation and seized their potential strength for your own!

That’s why we’ve made this list of awesome hacks that anyone can use to stand out from the crowd, especially if they want to make sure that everyone around them knows that they are the victor in the terrible in-utero battle known as the “vanishing twin syndrome!” That’s right, stick with these fashion hacks, and the whole world will know you absorbed your twin in the womb!

Invest in Capsule Wardrobe

If you’re asking what a “capsule wardrobe” is, congratulations, you’re ignorant! It’s the easiest thing in the world to go minimalist and make sure all your clothing works interchangeably, thereby showing the world that you’ve got better things to do than actively match, and one of them was absorbing your genetically identical sibling!

Forget Day to Night, Try Two Twin Fetuses to a Single Winner

Sometimes, you’ll head into the office in one outfit, knowing that you plan to rage all night on a bender of Southern Comfort-branded cocktails and cocaine. But you don’t have to worry about transitioning from one look to another if you have the confidence that comes with knowing you won your first battle even before you splashed out of your mom!

Remember, confidence is sexy, and sex is fashion.

Scarves. Always Scarves

Like Steven Tyler and Johnny Depp before you, scarves that hide your sins are key to your fashion image. But there’s no reason to hide that you need the fact that your twin, who might have become an artist or a saint, couldn’t withstand being absorbed into your very essence! If anything, you should be proud. The scarves will hide all the other terrible things you’ve done, though.

Wear a Shirt That Says, “Ask Me About How I Absorbed My Twin in the Womb, and While They May Not Have Developed into a Fully Formed Human Being, I Can Still Hear Their Vengeful Whispers in the Dark of the Night!”

It’s a conversation starter, at the very least.

Always Leave One Thing Behind, Much Like an Unborn Twin

Style icon Coco Chanel said it best: “Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and remove one accessory.” For an alleged Nazi collaborator, that lady knew how to put an outfit together, and she’s right. If there’s one thing you don’t need, it’s a twin who would surely have absorbed you first if given half the chance!