BEIJING — Norway added another gold medal in the 2022 Winter Olympic Games when their team of Black Metal musicians dominated the Standing Around in…
RAAHIL’S BODY — The fast-growing cystic acne chain on your friend Raahil’s face is launching franchise opportunities, with new pimples emerging on his upper back…
CALEXICO, Calif. — Local punk venue The Microwave announced new restrictions for patrons and will require anyone wanting to attend a show to present proof…
SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — A self-proclaimed “bachelorette” is celebrating six months of being single by going out to a romantic dinner with her ex-boyfriend, sources…
SALT LAKE CITY — Local punk Elizabeth “Bloodfucker” Matolka elicited mild surprise from her bandmates when she acknowledged a degree of affinity for country-pop artist…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local woman Katie Sandoval has been reconsidering the stability of her marriage after walking in on her husband watching Zero Skateboards’ 1997…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Local deadhead Patrick Thames expressed excitement over Martin Scorsese’s upcoming biopic of the Grateful Dead which is expected to be mostly improvised,…
On November 12, 2021, Britney Spears became free. For leaders of the #FreeBritney movement like me, 11/12 was our 9/11, except in reverse. November 12…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Nick Takanaka, the resident lighting technician at The Corner, is reportedly nearing his breaking point after being constantly mistaken for the venue’s…
DENVER — Local police officer, and unknowing swallower of other people’s spit, Dale Martin admitted he wasn’t able to tell the difference between his normal…
PHILADELPHIA — Local screamo legends, Angel, played an uncharacteristically mellow and peaceful set in their first show since attending EMDR therapy, shocked members of the…
SEATTLE – Gail Glover has had the repeated misfortune of accidentally running into her ex-boyfriend Joel Buckner at McGregor’s Brewpub, the bar he’s worked at…
TAMPA, Fla. – 36-year-old freelance Data Entry Technician, Albert Boychuk, made the decision to invest in guitar lessons after buying his first guitar, and expects…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local all-ages punk venue, The Back House, recently began to inform their patrons about an upcoming age cut-off of 32 for all…
PHOENIX — Local couple Mia Jaquish and Timothy Sickler spiced up their relationship by hanging a mirror above their bed so they can watch themselves…