John Dixon
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LOS ANGELES — Nike announced today they will be suing Lil Nas X and art collective MSCHF for saying their…
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I’m a declared cinema expert and Hitchcock lover. Because of my high standards, never in my life would a shitty…
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Ted Pillow
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In a landmark victory for noncorporeal cannabis reform, the Ghostbusters announced via their tax lawyer Louis Tulley that they are…
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Kevin Tit
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WHEATON, Md. — The local branch of the BodySmith Fitness franchise is refusing to terminate your gym membership until you…
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SEATTLE — Real estate giant Zillow announced a new “punk” setting today for users that will allow potential home buyers…
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Nathan Kamal
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ATLANTA — Local man Chris Mitchell reportedly is only willing to vote for a candidate who will immediately restrict, hinder…
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Michael Luis
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KINGSTON FALLS, N.Y. — An ominous record store employee reportedly warned customers yesterday that the new Mogwai album should not…
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Josh Klasco
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UNITED STATES — Landlords across the United States approved plans today to raise rent by $1,400 this April, to the…
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Patrick Coyne
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WILMINGTON, Del. — Roommates Manny Hernandez and Rob McCarty spent their first weekend together laying the ground rules for their…
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Tyler Roland
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EVANSTON, Ill. — Local man Ryan Michaelson began a new ritual last October, placing $7 in his fridge each time…
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