Bobby Korec
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NEW YORK — Recent NYC transplant and lifelong Floridian Jerry Smithson announced to a group of friends that New York…
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BOTHELL, Wash. — Audio equipment giant Behringer excited consumers by releasing a new line of electric drum sets that comes…
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Stephen Bell
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WESTON, Conn. — Police supporter Derek Conroy is “pretty confident” that there is no over-policing problem in the United States…
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CHICAGO — Local Tinder bot Jennifer, 29, whose existence centers on driving lonely men to fraudulent dating sites, organically stopped…
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Ben Friedman
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LOS ANGELES — Aging punk Mike Cruz was ordered by the Council of Punk Legitimacy to inform his neighbors that…
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NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Local man and dedicated Al’s Automotive supporter Brian Crespi was shocked and devastated to learn that…
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Patrick Crooks
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WASHINGTON — Prominent conservatives nationwide are beginning to inquire if they are still morally obligated to listen to Ariel Pink…
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CHICAGO — Local man and self-proclaimed foodie Harry Blanks unhinged his jaw like a Burmese Python in order to take…
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John Dixon
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ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local punk and avid merch buyer Ben Riley officially crossed the line from human being to…
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Patrick Coyne
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BALLARD RESIDENCE — A disturbing and highly scientific new study has found that I, Gary Ballard, the extremely parched breadwinner…
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