Michael Luis
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VANCOUVER — Nu-metal fan and dedicated JNCO jeans wearer Chad Willis was the only surviving passenger of a plane crash…
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Ted Pillow
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GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Daniel Powers is searching for an acceptable way to find out if his niece’s upcoming birthday…
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Holly Woodstock
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REINLANDER, Wisc. — A group of white men were mistaken for the headlining band of a local show early yesterday…
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Jerrod Kingery
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AUTOBOT CITY — Heroic Autobot Optimus Prime is currently forbidden from morphing into his truck form and driving on roads…
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Stephen Bell
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ATHENS, Ohio — Self-described lover of crystals, energy healing, and astrology Emma Cobb is reportedly only into hobbies that allow…
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Krissy Howard
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BROOKLYN, N.Y. — A limited-capacity show yesterday evening drew a crowd twice as large as local band Jolly Bean Chili…
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John Danek
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GOTHENBURG, Sweden — Melodic death metal guitarist Jens Nyberg tried to use a Boss HM-2 pedal, infamous for its famous…
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Billy Patterson
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PHILADELPHIA – Local friend and owner of a comfortable and reliable five-seat sedan, Victor Schnellenberger, is planning to quit drinking…
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Heather Cook
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How could a floppy-eared simp like Roger Rabbit ever score a babe as iconic and sexy as Jessica Rabbit? This…
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Mark Turner
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MEDFORD, Ore. — A sleepover between longtime friends Billy Potter and Sam Cortland turned sour after the former discovered his…
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