When I was a kid, skate videos made being a pro skateboarder look like a glamorous life filled with never-ending gas station snacks, drinking without…
In the ’90s, R.L. Stine’s “Goosebumps” books unleashed a wave of truth-telling about the horrors of modern America. Stine primed the zeitgeist with suburban mythology…
Countless American men of various beard lengths own a truck or Yeti tumbler covered in Punisher skull stickers. Often, this sticker accompanies their other trademark…
Let’s get this out in the open: these rankings are definitive, and we will fight every single person with a fucked-up “Jane Doe’ stick and…
INDIANAPOLIS – Local woman Kristen Wise’s pinky nail groomed specifically for the consumption of cocaine also has surprising snack-related benefits, multiple witnesses with red fingers…
Cringe alert: this forty-year-old musician is still finding his voice artistically. Aaliyah, Cliff Burton, Otis Redding, Jimi Hendrix, Keith Moon, Robert Johnson, Biggie, Jeff Buckley,…
INDIANAPOLIS — Nu metal enthusiast and father of two Brian Michaels finally sat down to have the “A.D.I.D.A.S.” talk with his kids, JNCO-clad sources confirmed.…
I don’t know how I fell asleep using the lower level of a coffee table as a pillow, but here I am: trapped in the…
TWO shirts? Are you kidding me? Haven’t you heard about all the inflation going on right now? And you know the merch is more expensive…
There are millions of happy, self-actualized people out there using BetterHelp, TalkSpace, or immersion therapy in some sparsely-decorated office next to a failing pizza parlor.…
Being a single guy that never left his hometown is great because the babes always come back. And when they do, I nurse these beautiful…
INDIANAPOLIS – Local punk Xak Henderson fought through immense pain and life-threatening injuries in order to use his last words to talk shit about his…
Guess who released just some goofy experimental horseshit? My ex-favorite band. And guess who they didn’t consult before changing their sound? Me. How the fuck…
Of my seven Cradle of Filth shirts, this one is by far the least filthy. Is there a mysterious crust on both cuffs? Sure. Is…
Relationships are tough, and with all the butt stuff going on now they’ve only gotten trickier. So, the sexologists at the Hard Times are here…