115th Final Mix Ready for Car Test
NEW YORK – Members of Tomorrow’s Yesterday reluctantly confirmed that band leader Simon Martinez is absolutely 100 percent without a…
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Robert John Scucci
86 stories found
Casual Tool Fan Captured for Research
LOS ANGELES – Casual Tool fan Chris Miller is perplexing scientists around the world with his ability to listen to…
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Opinion: If This Office is Truly Like a Family, How Come I Get Called into HR Every Time I Verbally Abuse Someone
You know what really pisses me off? When some lifeless, faceless corporation uses the whole “we’re like a family” thing…
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How to Reframe Eating an Entire Freezer Pizza in One Sitting Every Single Night as “Intermittent Fasting”
I think fad diets are as stupid as the next guy, but not all fad diets are created equal. I’ve…
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Chino Moreno Caught Moaning Into Oscillating Fan Again
SACRAMENTO, Calif.— Deftones frontman Chino Moreno was recently discovered belting out various moans and screams into an oscillating fan while…
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Thrifty Millennial Saves $50 by Spending 4 Hours Shopping at 7 Different Grocery Stores
BELLEVILLE, NJ — Financially savvy 38-year-old Scott Lawry revealed his secret to saving $50 is to spend several hours shopping…
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Taco Tuesday Downgraded to Sucking on Mild Packets Found Between Car Seats
MILWAUKEE — Local resident Stephen Calagna found a new and incredibly sad way to take part in Taco Night by…
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Privileged Person Calls Out Similarly Privileged Person for Being Privileged the Wrong Way
BOSTON – Local art major Tanner White is outraged by his equally privileged classmate Brent Saxon for flaunting his good…
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Aging Metalhead Mistakenly Thinks He Can Still Fit in Wedding Battle Vest
PITTSBURGH – Aging metalhead Derek Vance made the mistake of trying to slip into his wedding battle vest to celebrate…
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So You Created Your First Viral Video, Here’s All You Need To Know about Recycling the Same Premise Hundreds of Times and Never Growing as a Person
Congratulations. You finally went viral! That cell phone video of you slipping in a puddle of Alfredo sauce at the…
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