Police Department Reminded to Not Wear White Hoods After Labor Day
MILWAUKEE — Milwaukee Chief of Police Roger Brooks held a department-wide meeting today to remind his officers not to wear…
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Louie Aronowitz
125 stories found
Billy Joel Reveals “Piano Man” Started out as Pitch for Mega Man Villain
OYSTER BAY, N.Y. — Legendary singer/songwriter Billy Joel’s classic song “Piano Man” was originally crafted to be a pitch for…
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Radiohead Picks Wrong Time to Reveal “Kid A” Stands for “Kid Antebellum”
ABINGDON, Oxfordshire, U.K. — Experimental rock band Radiohead revealed today that their seminal album “Kid A” actually stands for “Kid…
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JNCO Introduces Face Mask That Covers Entire Body
LOS ANGELES — Clothing brand JNCO released a line of protective face masks yesterday that effectively cover the wearer’s entire…
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If We Cancel Joe Rogan, What Am I Gonna Listen to During Sex If I Ever Have It
Joe Rogan is in danger of being canceled and we cannot let this happen. Canceling a voice like Joe Rogan's…
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Opinion: Once You’re on the Mattress You Can’t Even Tell It’s on the Floor
Look, this is pure physics. Are you going to argue with the laws of physics? Once you’re on the mattress,…
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Search for Perfect “The Office” GIF Response Enters Sixth Hour
DUNMORE, Pa. — Local man Cameron Waters is in his sixth consecutive hour of sifting through various GIFs from “The…
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Guy Super Strict About Social Distancing Unless Girl on Tinder Is Down
NEWINGTON, Conn. — Diligently safety-conscious man James Sadler is staying vigilant about social distancing practices, unless his recent Tinder match…
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Producers Promise “Community” Movie Will Continue Series’ Steady Decline in Quality
LOS ANGELES — As the promise of “six seasons and a movie” finally comes to fruition, producers of the upcoming…
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Opinion: There’s No Such Thing as a Good Police Academy Movie
As the old adage goes, ACAB: All Cop movies Are Bad Yeah, I said it. If we ever want to…
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