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Opinion: You’re All Essential Heroes but I Asked for Pomplamoose La Croix Not Grapefruit Please Connect Me With the Manager

Essential workers. Brave heroes. The second coming of Christ. These are the names we’ve all come to call our most necessary workers in this pandemic. That said, incompetence will still not be tolerated. I ordered pomplamoose La Croix and your neanderthal delivery boy brought grapefruit. I will be needing assistance from a manager ASAP.

I respect what you do so much. It’s a dangerous time to be out interacting with other people. We are all lucky that people like you are willing to provide the services we need. You truly are the first responders, nay only responders, throughout what’s been called “9/11: With a Vengeance” around my house. However, if I don’t get the correct flavor La Croix in the next 15 seconds, I will have this kicked up to the region’s junior VP and see to it that your entire store is shut down!

Let’s see how you like it when we take away your precious essential work.

Listen, I get it. There is a lot going on and things are crazy. But is it really that difficult to get me the item I asked for? Hello? Are you even listening? I even took off my mask to make sure you can hear every slowed down word.

Nevertheless, they are heroes. I cannot stress this enough. However, this particular grocery store is going to have one less hero if a manager doesn’t get on the phone and give me some coupons, gift cards, or some extra La Croix for free. Hmm. So I’m noticing now that you actually did give me a pomplamoose, but that doesn’t change how poorly this situation was handled so your manager will still be hearing from me. Thank you for your service.

 
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