AHHHH! Fuck my stupid face in the dick with some shit! I was just scrolling when a notification that someone went live appeared right under my thumb and I clicked it by accident. Now all of a sudden I’m staring down the barrel of loaded livestream and there’s only one bullet. Please someone rip my taint off; I’m the only viewer in a really lame livestream but I can’t leave cus I’d feel bad.
It’s this dude I went to high school with and he’s doing some sort of “show” where he’s telling stories I guess? Or maybe it’s slam poetry? He was talking about a time his college professor forgot an umbrella and got to class soaking wet. But he recited this really bland story in the cadence of a rap battle. It was very weird and would have been uncomfortable for anyone else watching if, ya know, there was anyone else watching.
For real someone kill me now. I’d rather have my family look at a Zoom logo during my funeral than watch one more minute of this garbage. Hell, if someone was the only viewer at my livestream funeral, I wouldn’t be mad if they left.
If only someone else would join the stream. Then I could leave and he might not realize who left. Should I create a decoy Instagram account that I can leave logged into his stream? Seems like a lot of work but he’s an hour into the stream and isn’t showing any signs of slowing down so I probably have time. Hey, silver lining, at least now I own @WheetusFan311. Nice!
Oh shit, I just accidentally closed the livestream. Hey, wait, that actually solves my problem. Okay, crisis averte- oh fuck I just clicked it again! Help!!