KETTLE FALLS, Wash. — Local “Snidely Whiplash-type” Grivelsby Slinkslip was seen leering intently in the crowd for a shoegaze show as he waited for the…
CREST HILL, Ill. — Newly convicted felon Silas Deane Highway is reportedly looking forward to his 6-8 year prison sentence because he’s always dreamed of…
Finally, it’s time to cover some Presidents worth respecting! Armed with modified guitars and basses that ditched excessive strings, and led by Seattle smile-inducer Chris…
HAMAMATSU, Japan — Pedal manufacturer BOSS announced that they will finally be releasing a pedal that sounds like Jack Black scatting a very dope guitar…
LONDON — Longtime Rolling Stones manager Joyce Smith finally revealed that she has been deep in a “Weekend at Bernie’s” situation with Keith Richards’ long…
FIJI — A lifelong punk rock devotee in the middle of his tenure on this season’s “Survivor” repeatedly attempted to vote out Ronald Reagan at…
SEDONA, Ariz. — A fledgling lullaby composer was wracked with anxiety at a recent sold-out performance of his work when his melodies failed by leaving…
LATROBE, Penn. — Members of indie-noise act Timid Toucan were excited to find that their rehearsal would have a substitute lead singer today who wheeled…
NEWINGTON, Conn. — Avowed rockabilly lifer Hanson “Hoo-Doo” Mattimore was arrested by local traffic officials for placing an upright bass in a wig in his…
SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — The professional mutant models used for the halfway points of the “Animorphs” book series covers are reportedly, and understandably, hard up…
LOS ANGELES — An errant red shirt in a recent laundry load led party-rock mainstay Andrew W.K. to attempt to convince those around him that…
Folks, there’s no other way to put it: it is indeed time to party. When your career includes both working with Wolf Eyes to having…
MERIDEN, Conn. — Local milquetoast Artie Hangreth embarrassed himself mid-singalong in front of his partner’s friends as he realized he only truly knew the lyrics…
PITTSBURGH — Self-proclaimed audiophile Klein Drexel dismayed his longtime partner yesterday after getting himself stuck in the horn of his vintage Victrola yet again, sources…
WEST HARTFORD, Conn. — A previously too-cool-for-school music snob is reportedly just inebriated enough to loudly appreciate AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” playing…