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Mid-Points of “Animorphs” Covers Having Trouble Finding Other Modeling Work

SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — The professional mutant models used for the halfway points of the “Animorphs” book series covers are reportedly, and understandably, hard up for more gigs, vaguely creeped out sources confirmed.

“I’ll tell ya, ever since the ‘Animorphs’ cover industry has dried up, I can only find work on the scant ‘Weekly World News’ cover story or ‘Science Gone Wrong!’ clickbait headline. You’d think as one of the only half boy/half anteater models on the scene today, I’d be able to secure more work, I’m as surprised as you are!” remarked Garrison Whiteside, mid-point of “The Suspicion,” the 24th book in the series. “Being a starving artist is something you expect at a certain level when you enter this industry, but not when you primarily eat ants! My human side controls my tongue, so I’m shit outta luck in that department too. I’ve been sneaking into the zoo at feeding time just to ensure a daily meal. Things are pretty bleak.”

Other former “Animorphs” cover actors have taken to producing their own works in hopes of ensnaring attention.

“I flat-out resorted to writing my own off-broadway musical version of ‘The Island of Dr. Moreau’ just to get myself and my old pals some stage time in front of an ever-harshening industry. It calls for dozens of human/animal hybrids, and we’ll be the first to do it without any makeup or prosthetics. All natural,” said half woman/half bear Ashley Kifton-Price. “Sure, I’ve hit a snag or two in terms of funding, I’ll admit. But I can’t help it if all the possible producers I meet with are afraid they might get mauled by me. I’ve just started to take meetings with folks who are already playing dead in the fetal position, I find it makes things go smoother.”

“Animorphs” creator Katherine Applegate is allegedly unaware of the strife her books have caused these models.

“‘Animorphs,’ at its core, is about inclusion. Of all people, animals, and mutant middles. It was not my intention to just use these talented, singular models once and cast them aside. I have resolved to do better,” said Applegate. “I have begun work on a new spin-off series for these models called ‘Ani-midphs’ where they are the hero, and there is no need for them to change or conform to society (or species) norms. Oh, and in the books, no one is creeped out by them when they do something like eat a bug or flop around in the mud or anything like that. C’mon, it’s fantasy, after all.”

At press time, a half human/half cat from the “Animorphs” series was seen unable to stop sneezing as it was allergic to itself.