Okay class, may I have your attention for a moment? We know that there are some rumors going around about the school’s faculty and we…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Damien Pocket, a longtime “fan” of early ‘90s proto-emo outfit Jawbreaker, recently began wondering when it’s going to once again become accepted…
Everclear: Art Alexakis’ main meal ticket since 1992. Until now mostly remembered for four or five ‘90s songs that have begun gracefully transitioning onto classic…
Insane Clown Posse: the jester-kings of the proudly unwashed. While we have long been fans of the acclaimed horrorcore duo, we have never been able…
TONAWANDA, N.Y. — 39-year-old Kyle Lowe recently began a new and horrifying phase of his adulthood where he now almost exclusively begins any interaction by…
WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Independent record shop Columbia Flophouse somberly announced the business’s going-out-of-business sale nearly two full weeks before the store was scheduled to…
TRANSYLVANIA — Acclaimed spook-punk band Alkaline Trio announced a purely symbolic tour date in remote settlement “The Village of Unspeakable Horrors” during their ongoing “Blood,…
Mischief Brew was a Philadelphia-based folk punk who wrote songs about labor unions, AA meetings, civil strife, and love, sweet, complicated love. They’re exactly what…
WASHINGTON — Former President Donald Trump announced his latest merch launch, a $60 Bible that will the Pledge of Allegiance, Lee Greenwood lyrics, and limited…
TYLER, Texas. — Local hardcore band Crate Full of Saws recently alarmed audience members when, in the middle of an unfocused and seemingly endless speech,…
HARTFORD, Conn. — Elder millennial Thomas Sharpe is reportedly in “critical and deteriorating condition” after erroneously believing that his haggard husk of a body could…
The Wet Bandits are not what anyone would call criminal masterminds. But following our mandatory annual Hard Times staff rewatch of “Home Alone,” we’re not…
The Mountain Goats’ sound could be likened to the reality of being a weekend dad set in a minor key. As we’ve discussed before, the…
SMYRNA, Del. — High school metal band Drunk Blacksmith made an adolescent pact that if when they’re all “as old and unappealing as stale dogshit”…
BALTIMORE — Volunteers with the organization People for the Ethical Treatment of Acoustics (PETA (But Not Assholes)) recently rescued a badly mistreated Yamaha acoustic guitar…