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25 Extreme Sports Ranked by How Naturally Proficient Teen Wolf Would Be At Them

Okay, so let’s address this right at the start, we couldn’t decide which Teen Wolf to use for this list. We thought about using the classic 1985 movie Teen Wolf to appease our rapidly growing geriatric fanbase. But then we also considered using the new hot guy Teen Wolf because, we mean, just look at him, he’s gorgeous. We even considered using the one from the old Teen Wolf cartoon because we’re sure there are a few wild cards out there who were gonna send us more letter bombs if we didn’t acknowledge it. So here’s what we settled on: we will give you our list using an amorphous combination of teen and wolf properties mixed into a single Teen Wolf vessel and you just slap whatever face over that that you want. Whichever wolf boy makes you happiest, just go for it. We believe in you.

25. Cave Diving

Yes, wolves tend to live in caves, but that’s just for protection from the outside world. Wolves like wide open spaces, roaming freely and majestically around the open forest is sort of their whole thing. Combine that with a teenager’s natural resistance to following careful instruction and their innate jumpiness in uncomfortable or claustrophobic situations and we can be pretty confident that this scenario only ends with Teen Wolf dead in a subaquatic cavern somewhere.

24. Ice Climbing

This one may initially be surprising as both wolves and teens generally appear to do quite well on ice in the wild. The key here being that this is vertical ice – big difference to Teen Wolf. Even though it does technically have opposable thumbs, there are way too complex of tools being used on this sport.

23. White Water Rafting

The only advantage that Teen Wolf has when it comes to white water rafting is that this is where every suburban teens dad made their family go for vacation one year and it’s the one vacation that all of those families still refuse to mention in polite conversation. At least in that instance he’ll have some prior experience.

22. Pole Vaulting

Okay, look, we could only really name like a dozen or so X-Games sports off the top of our head, so we grabbed a whole bunch more off some list we found on line – and pole vaulting is one of the things that was on that list. Yeah, we don’t get it either. But we do trust that Teen Wolf would suck eggs at it. I mean have you ever met anyone that pole vaulted?

21. Zorbing

Zorbing actually looks pretty fun, but in the context of this list it sort of seems like animal cruelty. Imagine putting a labrador retriever in a big, semi-transparent ball and then tossing it over the edge of a gorge – not a good look. Teen Wolf is only part wolf, but we think it’s enough to still piss off PETA.

20. Highlining

Highlining is basically slacklining except in at an altitude that if you fuck up you die. Teen Wolf certainly has expert balance but, frankly, we don’t understand how any creature is accomplished at this obvious death wish of a hobby.

19. Base Jumping

Teen Wolf may be fearless and a daredevil, but somehow we just don’t buy him being able to properly fold and pack a parachute in working order.

18. BMX

There are a fewschools of BMX, there are the dirt tracks where people race in full gear, there is dirt jumping, half pipe, even street BMX. Unfortunately Teen Wolf sucks at them all, his weight distribution is all weird and for some reason he’s really afraid of knocking all his teeth out on his handlebars.

17. Wingsuit

Similar to base jumping, but with the added element of having a kickass bat-gliding costume to tool around the skies in. This means our Teen Wolf will be able to at least be able to do some sick aerial moves before realizing his reserve chute is tangled in a mass of unkempt back fur.

16. Fight Club

This one really should be higher. Like, a werewolf would obviously dominate any fight club anywhere. But a Teen Wolf is actually kind of a pacifist wuss. So we’re giving this one a middle of the road position for natural ability, but we guess not for natural spirit.

15. Free Climbing

What even is this sport besides just being in nature and going up? Yeah, Teen Wolf would be fine at that. Like, almost anyone would be fine at that.

14. Jet Skiing

It seems like whenever we picture Teen Wolf in our heads the soundtrack to a ’90s N64 jet ski video game starts playing automatically. So at the very least this sport is definitely the right aesthetic for our guy here.

13. Snowboarding

The hardest part of this one is getting those wolf paws to properly strap into the goddamn board. Have you ever tried dealing with those fuckass boots that are supposed to lock into it? Never fucking work right.

12. Mountain Luge

The mountain luge is well within Teen Wolf’s natural ability. However, it would be his inability to not go “WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” while coasting down a mountainside, thus eradicating his outer cool demeanor, that places this one in the middle of this list.

11. Bungee Jumping

Once again, it’s just jumping off a thing and not dying. Anyone can do this, wolves of any age notwithstanding.

10. Surfing

We spent a frankly embarrassingly long time going down a Google rabbit hole for the phrase “werewolf beach party movie” and we just want to say that this is a genre that has apparently been sorely neglected. Anyways, Teen Wolf can surf on top of a van, we’re pretty sure he’ll kill it on some gnarly waves as well.

9. Zip Lining

Don’t try to act like this isn’t another one of the ones we found on some “extreme sports” list online and just kind of went “yeah, that’ll work.” Really you should be more intrigued as to why we decided to rank it this high. We’re actually not gonna tell you – you do your own Teen Wolf critical thinking on this one.

8. Motocross

He’s got the speed and he’s got the reflexes. The only flaw for motocross is that Teen Wolf would constantly be stopping his bike to roll his back around on some neat dirt clods he found. You might be saying “Wait, if he’s good at this how can he suck at BMX?” Simple, he doesn’t have to pedal a dirtbike.

7. Parkour

Parkour seems to be more about looking good in TikTok videos than it does much actual physical acumen. Still though, Teen Wolf was in that one school play – so we know he can act in front of an audience.

6. Rollerblading

You might not know this, but Teen Wolf was actually a very good rollerblader as a preteen. Unfortunately he grew up in a time rollerblading was seen as “uncool” and kept this secret talent under wraps. But lately he’s busted out his old pair of Roces and took out his old collection of “Daily Bread” magazine from his attic.

5. Water Skiing

We’re sure Air Bud already did this in one of the sequels. Lame, but at least we have precedent.

4. Tough Mudder Obstacle Course

So, it’s basically the Westminster Dog Show obstacle course if they built it in a swamp? As long as he gets a “good job” treat at the end (which for a Teen Wolf we’re guessing is an entire Little Caesars pizza covered in man-blood) he’ll have no issue with getting down in the mud.

3. Skateboarding

Teen Wolf has always taken to skateboarding, he’s been doing it for a long time but still gets frustrated by the fact he can’t do nollie flips, but here’s the thing, he has great nollie tre flips. If you see Teen Wolf doing some flatground skating you best just keep walking, he might get pissed off and tear you to shreds.

2. ATV Off-Roading

Same thing as motocross for this one, but we figured a natural quadruped would do better on four wheels than two. Plus, the “all-terrain” aspect gets some tough mudder in here as well. Man, he would crush this.

1. Jetboarding

If there’s one thing we all know about Teen Wolf it’s that he is the most radical dude there ever was. And jetboarding is by far the most radical extreme sport there is. Just the name on its own, “jetboarding,” sounds like every other extreme sport combined into one. It takes balance, speed, coordination, not being afraid of smelling like a dog, and most likely wicked cool Ray Ban sunglasses. These are all classic examples of Teen Wolf charm. Finally we find what the wolf would be best at.