MINNEAPOLIS — Local man Dan Stanford was accused of derailing date night at an upscale restaurant after he spent most of the evening gazing longingly…
SANTA FE, N.M. — Local punk Trevor McGill was shocked but not surprised to find the only existing photo of him not blackout drunk was…
WATERLOO, Iowa — A recent independent poll found Donald Trump’s draconian immigrant policies were polling overwhelmingly positive among users of the social media network Nextdoor,…
Congratulations, you’ve managed to sneak into your nemesis’ inner sanctum (or home office). Now all that’s left to do is wait in their extra tall…
DUBAI — The COP28 Climate Summit concluded with a landmark agreement to phase out fossil fuels under the condition that big oil executives be allowed…
WASHINGTON — President Biden revealed that the United States reached a new milestone in global dominance and is just one military base on foreign soil…
Would you rather be slaving away at a boring ass 9 to 5 job or unburdened by the shackles of society and causing mayhem up…
It’s safe to say that everyone at this tattoo convention can agree that the body is a blank canvas. Some go with designs that are…
DUBAI — Attendees of the COP28 Climate Summit set aside the solutions to impending climate catastrophe after being dazzled by the inclusion of an ostentatious…
Ugh, what a day. I never want to see the inside of a courtroom again! Seriously, you drive drunk through one backyard, end up crashing…
Social media trends come and go so quickly it’s hard to know what the hell is cool anymore. When it comes to TikTok, entire memes…
DUBAI — Members of the Saudi royal family were are in full damage control today after it was revealed Metallica’s first-ever show in the country…
PITTSBURGH — Local punk Wade Franklin discovered an ingenious method of protecting his home by hiding his spare house key under a possum that died…
FREEHOLD, N.J. — 52-year-old Hank Quinn’s political opinions have swung violently to the center after being exposed to a non-stop barrage of New York Times…
WASHINGTON — Senator Markwayne Mullin of Oklahoma was left in critical condition this morning after being confronted and brutally beaten by Scabby the giant inflatable…