Zachary Wolf
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BEMIDJI, Minn. — A well-worn Danzig shirt owned by middle-aged metalhead Kyle Russo narrowly avoided being donated to Goodwill with…
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Louie Aronowitz
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PERRYSBURG, Ohio — A recent posting of singer/songwriter Dan Sheen’s Bandcamp link has silenced his local friend group chat despite…
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Let’s face it, you are special. Your mom knows it, you know it, and you’re special. Call it the spark,…
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Bobby Korec
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Republicans, rejoice! We’ve stumbled upon some extremely juicy intel regarding your second favorite Biden to shit on. Is it Hunter’s…
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Chris Bowen
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CANASTOTA, N.Y — A rough-looking carnival worker sporting a Pantera shirt responsible for running a Ferris wheel made it certain…
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Tracy Kellett
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Life is full of little surprises, like finding a crumpled $20 in the wash, or a pregnancy scare. But this…
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Matt McInerney
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ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local parents Jean and Tom Decker finally decided it's acceptable to let their middle-aged son watch that…
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Tim Graham
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KENOSHA, Wis. — The long-hunted serial murderer known only as The Kenosha Cannibal was pleasantly surprised he could still slip…
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Dan Kozuh
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SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local punk and administrative assistant Ross Taylor celebrated fifteen years at a job that he claims he…
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Stephen Bell
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CARSON CITY, Nev. — Local graphic designer Sam Davis regretted ever mentioning that he’s never seen “Star Wars” after being…
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