February 2020 - Page 20 of 21

Bobby Korec • February 3, 2020

BALTIMORE — Local introvert Katie Pidacter quietly hoped yesterday that no one would remember her birthday this year, in order…

Noah Ammerman • February 3, 2020

MINNEAPOLIS — Local doll superfan Charley Cover expressed skepticism about the upcoming Dreamworks film Trolls World Tour, claiming that the…

Alec Stein • February 3, 2020

Recently, The Hard Times met up with Craig Erickson, a new United States army recruit, an aspiring Mustang owner, and,…

Mark Bouchard • February 3, 2020

DURHAM, N.C. — Rising data entry star Stuart Carroll is hospitalized today following a freak tech deck accident, which doctors…

The Hard Times Staff • February 2, 2020

DETROIT — A neglected Hoover WindTunnel vacuum currently stuffed in the front closet of notorious punk house The Slayboy Mansion…

Tom Peters • February 2, 2020

If you’re like me, the Super Bowl is the only football game you’ll watch all year. Maybe a coworker invited…

Mark Roebuck • February 2, 2020

MIAMI GARDENS, Fla. — A group of analysts have simulated this year’s Super Bowl using NFL Blitz for the Nintendo…

Bobby Korec • February 2, 2020

PHILADELPHIA — Friend-of-a-friend and uninvited Super Bowl party guest Bartholomew Youngblood just wants everyone to know that the word “football”…

Edgar Towner • February 2, 2020

Football season is drawing to an end, and millions of Americans are gathering around the tube to catch the big…

Patrick Coyne • February 2, 2020

ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Perpetually pie-eyed local man Dominic “Mitch” Wozinski was invited last night by expectant parents Christine and…

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