Most people think that crust punks are dangerous creatures. Their abrasive looks often come across as threatening to people. Truth is they are rather passive…
182 search results for “"crust punk"”
NANTUCKET, Mass. – The breezy, seaside tranquility of a Nantucket beach was shattered this weekend by the arrival of a rogue crust punk who, according to…
FLINT, Mich. — Local pit bull James Earl Bones rescued a crust punk yesterday from a no-kill shelter despite the negative stereotypes of aggressive temperament…
AKRON, Ohio — Progressive-minded, but very smelly, children across the world woke up to gifts from Crust Punk Santa who enters family homes via the…
BOCA RATON, Fla. — Local crust punk Johnny “Eight Fingers” Arnold awoke late Saturday afternoon to discover he had accidentally saved a park from demolition…
EL PASO, Texas — An unnamed crust punk was violently dragged off an overbooked Union Pacific boxcar earlier today, sparking outrage within the traveler community. “Two…
NEW YORK — The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals released a new commercial this week, set to the Leftöver Crack song…
NEW YORK — The Lower East Side crust punk scene is gripped by debate over the credibility veteran scene icon Bradley “Lice” Skeever, who is…
VENICE BEACH, Calif. – Sean Clark is no stranger to stagediving. The experienced crowdsurfer has safely navigated through schools of angry skinheads, tangles of steel…
CHICAGO — Prominent crust-futurist Mark “Musky” Long gave a brief press conference today to promise a crust punk will squat on abandoned property on Mars by…
WASHINGTON — Scientists have confirmed that the current nationwide dumpster fire is adversely affecting the national crust punk population, according to a new study conducted…
AUSTIN, Texas – Researchers at the University of Texas at Austin have made a startling discovery. Though controversial, anthropologists have determined that crust punks may…
BALTIMORE — Local crust punk and self-proclaimed gentleman Jason Kirkby laid his Capitalist Casualties butt flap over a puddle last night to protect his date,…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Local woman Lily-Ann Greenaway is allowing a crust punk she met last week on a dating app to soak “for a day…
DALLAS — Ricardo “the Scuzz” Garza tripled his net worth last night when he found a half of a pack of cigarettes on a venue…
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