OKLAHOMA CITY — Religious supporters of President Trump were confused and apprehensive yesterday when he invited an executive from popular sex toy company Adam &…
Given that we’ve been in some sort of recession or another ever since I’ve been old enough to know the word “republican,” it’s time we…
NEW YORK — The cast of “Sesame Street” joined the country’s leading scientists and health experts this weekend in a special episode that explains the…
Our country is teetering on the brink of oblivion. Governments are looking to dismantle our very way of life and revoke our rights from under…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump recommended Americans inject hit 2004 anime Bleach into their veins in order to prevent the spread of COVID-19, according to…
WASHINGTON — President Trump showcased his overflowing Easter basket earlier today after outperforming “low IQ” children during the annual Easter egg hunt on the White…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders announced today that he will put all of his unsold merchandise for sale on his Bandcamp following his…
WASHINGTON — The U.S. Department of Commerce issued a concerning report this morning, finding that 78% of American corporations are barely scraping by and living…
WASHINGTON — In order to streamline distribution, sources are reporting that Universal Basic Income will be distributed to Americans via a daily login bonus on…
WASHINGTON — President Trump has announced plans to unleash a giant squid on each of the major cities in the United States in an effort…
Between the pandemic, the quarantine, and now shutting down the border, you guys may never meet my girlfriend. It stinks too because even though she…
WASHINGTON — President Trump held a press conference this morning to drink a full cup of COVID-19, hoping the gesture will calm the nerves of…
NEW HORIZONS — Those playing the newly released Animal Crossing: New Horizons for the Nintendo Switch noted that there was something odd going on with…
A fifty-two percent tax. I can’t get that figure out of my head. Fifty-two percent. That’s almost half my income. You see, I still believe…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump is being attacked by prominent Democrats today after he claimed he found Mew under a truck in his original playthrough…