NEW YORK — The introduction on a new track “Medieval Candle” from the seminal doom metal band Draconian Flesh turned out to be the entire…
CALGARY, Alberta — Local woman Deirdre McPhee is under the false impression that the lame love song her guitar-wielding boyfriend just sang to her was…
VESTAL, N.Y. — The funeral for local punk Jimmy Stark became a matter of sheer embarrassment when his best friend Derek Norton accidentally forgot to…
Another track in the bag! I worked my ass off writing and recording that stellar blend of original riffs and lyrics and I was so…
SAN DIEGO — Authorities scrambled to contain the damage Tuesday night after a local bar was hammered by what patrons are calling the most horrific…
JESSUP, Md. — Depressed, despondent millennial Harry Chalke confused those around him when he unwittingly quoted Beck’s “Loser” while summarizing his current state of mental…
BALTIMORE — Ferocious garage punk rockers Cigarettes Saved My Life challenged expectations by including a six-minute ballad at the end of their most recent album,…
WORCESTER, Mass. — Local man Johnny Jarvis had to check Spotify to confirm he was actually enjoying the song he found himself bobbing his head…
TORONTO — Concert goers were left baffled last night when drummer Gareth McGibbons of mathcore band Hyde Index burst into flames during the band’s second…
LAS VEGAS — Radio rock stalwarts The Killers apologized to fans yesterday morning after realizing that they missed an obvious, optimal rhyme in their legendary…
BOSTON — Completely brokenhearted by the news of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones disbandment, longtime fan Travis McMurray struggled to find any depressing ska music to…
SAN DIEGO — Music identification software Shazam faced an ethical dilemma today, ultimately failing to disclose the song playing at Marshalls late yesterday afternoon due…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Sales representative and aging pop-punk Dave Castello was appalled to discover that a frequently visited corner lot in his hometown was converted…
GARY, Ind. — Local jam band Welcome Back Emmett Otter increasingly wishes that someone in the audience of The Jackawolf would tell them when the…
CHICAGO — A report recently issued by the Library of Congress has stated that this right here is the good part of the song, shut…