It certainly seems like it was a trend in the ‘80s and ‘90s for punk and hardcore bands to have their own theme song named after themselves. Why did they do this? Maybe it’s because before we all had smartphones and smart cars and smart vacuum cleaners all with screens telling us what we were listening to, people needed to be reminded what band was playing. It’s weird and a little like if we had an article called “The Hard Times” about the hard times The Hard Times is having in these hard times. (Writer’s note to self: That’s actually not a bad idea.)

Well, we compiled a list of the ten best self-titled songs, and since it was honestly almost too easy because literally every band we thought of had one, this should be a slam-dunk list that the entire internet agrees with. So let’s get into it.

“Negative FX”

This was recorded in 1982 so we’ll give it a pass for the recording quality. But just a tip for any new bands out there: it’s typically better for the “gang vocals” to not be louder than the main vocals. Also doesn’t hurt to be on beat. Or if not, try to keep the song to under 50 seconds like this one.

“Good Clean Fun”

It’s hard to tell if this is actually a song or was part of some kind of competition to see who could put the most amount of syllables into a verse. The chorus is a lot of fun though. You might even say it’s good and it’s definitely clean.

“Token Entry”

The cover of the album “Jaybird” this is from has a drawing of an eagle with sunglasses riding a skateboard which tells you all you need to know about Token Entry and really the ‘80s in general. Also, Token Entry refers to using a physical token to ride the NYC subways and suddenly we feel like a grandparent explaining who Abbott & Costello were.

“Side by Side”

Out of all the songs on this list, this band name feels the most shoehorned into the lyrics. Like they were done with recording the album (with cover art they inexplicably stole from LL Cool J) and at the last minute were like “Shit, we forgot we’re an ‘80s hardcore band and need a theme song!”

“Pennywise”

Much like the made-for-TV version of “It” and the recent remakes, Pennywise was smart to leave out THAT ONE SCENE FROM THE BOOK from the lyrics to this. This is probably the goofiest song on this list and Good Clean Fun was an actual joke band.

“Gorilla Biscuits”

Did we say “Pennywise” was the goofiest? Because it might actually be this one. GB never really took themselves too seriously and here they just let loose on the silliness. Fun fact: If you can keep up with Civ as he says “G-O-R-I double-L-A” you win 50 scene points!

“Turning Point”

If you couldn’t tell by the cover which has a giant X with a drawing of a hardcore-looking figure who also has an X on his hand, these guys were EDGE. They would later on tone down the youth crew-yness of it all but this early stuff still slaps (that fucking drink out of your hand.)

“Youth of Today”

These guys really threw a curveball into the whole “don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t fuck” straight edge dogma by adding the fourth commandment to be “physically strong.” The thought of having to begin some sort of fitness regimen probably made a number of edge folks decide to start drinking.

“Descendents”

“Hope” may have been their anthem for the permanently friend-zoned, but this was the anthem for the butt-pickers. The Descendents are still going strong to this day and at their shows you can see a lot of singing along to this with finger-pointing hands raised from sagging skin arms with faded Milo tattoos on them.

“Minor Threat”

Write it faster. This is the granddaddy of all self-titled hardcore songs. It’s one of those songs you hear immediately in your head when you see the album cover. It’s also the best example on this list of a song that is a band’s mission statement. You won’t find a better song that a band named after themselves. And that’s a promise.