It’s time to call a spade a spade and say that Trapt is the absolute greatest band of all time. Got a problem with that?…
MENLO PARK — With a wave of disappointment washing over himself for squandering another potentially productive day, an employee at Facebook headquarters was reportedly distraught…
The coronavirus pandemic is causing catastrophic and multivalent shock waves that will impact global trade, geopolitics, and social norms for years to come. Tragically, its…
MONTGOMERY, Ala. — Justin Curry’s post on Reddit’s r/relationship_advice under the username u/throwawaythekeys92 did absolutely nothing to hide his identity as a result of his…
DENVER — A controversial new study conducted by “a gaggle of lame-ass dorks with like, basically two followers or whatever” erroneously claimed that there is…
NEW YORK — A recent report from Overpower-Overcome Enterprises found that last year’s inordinate number of backstabbings ground the hardcore scene’s street justice system to…
NEW YORK — Breakout singer/songwriter Peter Musto quietly unfollowed all his “go-nowhere loser friends” on social media last week, leaving behind a number of those…
KANSAS CITY, Miss. — Local rabble rouser and aspiring terrorist Shaun Norris reportedly deleted all of his social media posts criticizing the Islamic State of…
MENLO PARK, Calif. — Popular photo and video-sharing social networking company Instagram unveiled a new filter last week that makes it look like a live…
GREENVILLE, S.C. — Social media user Katie Orkin was seen mumbling curse words under her breath and clenching her fist in frustration earlier this week…
PFLUGERVILLE, Texas — Local woman Shelby Cardenas handled a semi-regular 2 a.m. scroll through her ex-girlfriend Melissa Hannan’s Instagram page with the focus and careful…
GENEVA, Ill. — Local man and self-described electronic leash cutter Lucas Roberts is now on a door-to-door journey to tell every American that he quit…
KIRBY, Wyo. — Local woman Madison Fuller announced today via multiple social media platforms that she is expecting to be a MILF sometime around mid-June…
CINCINNATI — Local punk Jon Weiner was outed as a poser yesterday after mistakenly spelling the name of popular punk band Descendents with an ‘A,’…
BOISE, Idaho — A pointless, rambling political rant posted to Facebook by local man Terry Boe this morning resulted in mass casualties to his friend…