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Gamma Variant Tweets Ominous “Big Things on Horizon. Stay Tuned!”

SAN FRANCISCO — New COVID-19 mutation the Gamma Variant garnered attention with a cryptic tweet telling followers it had “big” plans for fall and winter, confirmed multiple sources preparing to cancel their flights home for Christmas.

“I usually don’t follow an account unless I know them personally, but I figured that a deadly mutation of a highly contagious airborne disease is worth a follow,” internet user Pat Yates said while refreshing the app in hopes of an update. “Then all of a sudden it posts just six words and I don’t even know what it could mean. Reddit is on fire right now with theories. Some say it’s a new release, others think Gamma is going to tour the Pacific northwest. I personally think it might do a collab with tuberculosis. This is basically QAnon for COVID-heads.”

The Gamma Variant’s representatives were even more cagey about the tweet.

“You’ll know when I do,” said Marguerite Pierce of Green Parker Management via email. “We ask during this time you respect Gamma’s privacy, as it needs time to create and evolve. This next release is going to be more mature and deliberate than anything you’ve experienced. What I will tell you is that it will be something you’d never expect, and if the previous year is any indicator, you will not be prepared for it.”

Some disease experts, however, feel this might all just be hyperbole.

“We have so many diseases vying for attention in this 24-hour news cycle. Gamma is just trying to stay trendy and relevant, especially now that the Delta variant released its special ‘Delta Plus’ for anyone willing to gather in tight spaces without being vaccinated or wearing a mask,” Samantha Lawson of the Rand Paul Infectious Disease Institute said. “Put up or shut up, is what I say. If this has-been virus really has new material, let’s see it! COVID hasn’t been relevant since 2020. The account is probably a Chinese bot.”

Internet sleuths were able to find a reply from Gamma variant saying “can’t wait to see you all” on a recent post by Furnace Fest.