LOS ANGELES — Late 90s radio staples and current Twitter influencers Eve 6 are defending their text-based social media output today amid outcry that the…
“You’re All Caught Up” Pleads Concerned Instagram
PITTSBURGH — Local Instagram user Charlie Guerrero found a distressed message at the bottom of her feed yesterday, stating that she had consumed all of…
NEW YORK — The Pulitzer Prize Board announced nominations for the 2020 Pulitzer Prize in Public Service, including a surprise nomination for Reddit user johnnyjon66,…
Local Crackpot Believes His Tweets are Good Enough to Be Suppressed by the Algorithm
DICKSON, Tenn. — Twitter user Lenny Vickerman, a 43-year-old who frequently posts unintelligible rants on social media, suspects that the sole reason his tweets aren’t…
We’ve all been there. You’re jamming along to a new track. The beat? Incredible. The lyrics? Insightful. The message? Well, they’re singing about a trampoline…
Opinion: Unfriend Me RIGHT NOW if You’re Literally Yolanda Saldívar, the Woman Who Shot Selena
If you are reading this right now and your name is Yolanda Saldívar… FUCK. YOU. You literally MURDERED beloved singer/songwriter/spokesperson/businesswoman/ model/actress/fashion designer, Selena Quintanilla-Pérez! Not…
HINSDALE, Ill. — Twitter user Shannon Nichols updated her profile bio today, moving “Trump Supporter” ahead of her other chosen descriptors of “Christian, Mother, Entrepreneur,…
In the days following Donald Trump’s election loss, droves of conservatives have left Facebook in favor of so-called “alternative” social media sites with Parler quickly…
LOS ANGELES — Local Twitter user Frederick Peterson, better known by his handle @freddiepeteyboy682, went on a tragic cancel spree early this morning, before turning…
Oh Boy: Friend Just Added “Entrepreneur” To Bio
With the pandemic shuttering businesses and keeping workers at home, everyone is looking for a little side hustle and we totally get that. But oh…
Impassioned Facebook Departure Announcement Seen by Dozens of People Who Cannot Recall How in the Fuck They Know This Person
SHERIDAN, Wyo. — A heartfelt and impassioned announcement from Facebook user Glenn Davies today left dozens scratching their heads wondering how in the fuck they…
Just Shit My Pants. Please Send Cute Animal Pics
Oh boy. I just shit my pants. Yup. On an evening walk across the Del Taco parking lot, I shit my pants. As I type…
GRAND CANYON VILLAGE, Ariz. — Amateur photographer Jim Wagner agreed to photograph a couple who recently became engaged yesterday if, and only if, they tag…
REPORT: Nobody in Group Chat Touching That One
NEW YORK — Members of a local group chat insisted that they wouldn’t be going anywhere near that comment, preferring to let things die down…
Guy Refuses to Let That Sink In
LEBANON, Ohio — After seeing hundreds of political posts that end with “let that sink in,” local man Dick Babcock took a stand today by…