IOWA CITY, Iowa — Local high school teacher Valerie Kaur is attempting to improve student engagement by referring to symbolism as “Easter Eggs” in her…
Man Who Deleted Social Media Now Gets His Existential Dread From Reading Frozen Food Ingredients
OKLAHOMA CITY — Local sad sack Jarvis Palmer recently deleted all of his social media accounts and now spends most nights at his local grocery…
SAN FRANCISCO — New COVID-19 mutation the Gamma Variant garnered attention with a cryptic tweet telling followers it had “big” plans for fall and winter,…
Am I “DUMMY THICC” or Just Slightly Chubby and Extremely Dimwitted?
As a man, I’ve never really given much thought to catcalling. I was always empathetic to women harassed by men, but I suppose I never…
God Updates LinkedIn Title to “Content Creation Ninja”
HEAVEN — Local divine and benevolent deity, God, updated His LinkedIn profile yesterday, changing His title to Content Creation Ninja in the first step to…
First Crew Pic Back from COVID Decidedly Uncool
PHILADELPHIA — A local hardcore crew embarrassed themselves publicly after posting an incredibly weak crew pic, their first since COVID restrictions were lifted, multiple sources…
Oil Lobbyist Gets Targeted Ad for Politician He Just Bought
WASHINGTON — Harold Fortner, a lobbyist for a major petroleum company, reportedly received a targeted ad on his Facebook account for a politician he had…
NEW YORK — Television executive Arthur Gaines, 73, remains oblivious that the “Frasier” reboot he’s been pitching for the past hour is already a popular…
Man Vaccinated Too Late for Selfie to Seem Important
LOS ANGELES — Recently vaccinated man Albert Kalomatsos posted his out-of-focus vaccine selfie weeks too late for it to even have a symbolic meaning, way…
Facebook Thread About Antidepressants Getting Weirdly Competitive
CINCINNATI — The comments section on a Facebook post about treatments for anxiety and depression caused by the solitude and stress of the Coronavirus pandemic…
Cry for Help Getting Tons of Likes
TOLEDO, Ohio — A desperate plea for help shared via Facebook post by local woman Andrea Copeland has been garnering a ton of likes, according…
Heyyyy #GirlBosses! As a white woman that owns several large-brimmed hats, I am an expert in entrepreneurship. This wasn’t always the case though. Not so…
Guy Who Doesn’t Follow You Back Must Want You Dead
SAN FRANCISCO — After liking, sharing, and commenting on his posts, it looks like your “new friend” from last week’s virtual open mic Chris Hardny…
Everyone knows it’s hard being a teen. Between school and acne, being a teenager in America is almost as hard as being a pre-teen in…
Graphic Designer Completely Unaware He’s Cause of Dozens of Deep State Q Conspiracies
BINGHAMTON, N.Y. — Local graphic designer Fletcher Townsend remains totally oblivious to the fact that his work portfolio continues to fuel multiple Qanon conspiracies, dozens…