Listen, we’ve all been in this situation before. You take a little break in your day and decide to sneak a peek at your phone.…
These days, it seems like racism is at the forefront of everything, mostly thanks to former President Donald Trump, and how he brought racism back…
Future ‘Founder’ of Twitter Elon Musk Buys Twitter
SAN FRANCISCO — Richest man in the world, Elon Musk, acquired Twitter earlier today and will immediately begin rewriting the company’s history to show he…
PORTLAND, Ore. — The sudden decrease in social media activity of a prolific vaccine disinformation propagator Jason Cooley is leading friends and acquaintances to believe…
We Rank Our Childhood Friends by How Into Crypto They Are Now
So your best buddy from 1st grade faded out of your life by the time you were in college. It happens! Childhood friendships often wind…
When Our Friend’s Cat Went Missing We Asked Twitter To Do Their Thing and Now We’re Being Canceled
In the grand tradition of using social media to help solve real world problems, when we heard our friend’s cat had gone missing we posted…
We Need an Engagement Boost So We’re Gonna Go Ahead and Say Neutral Milk Hotel Is Pop-Punk
Neutral Milk Hotel rose to prominence at the dawn of the internet age for their surrealistic lyrics and eclectic instrumentation that defied categorization. But did…
Newly Freed Britney Messages Facebook Friends Asking if They Ever Considered Being Their Own Boss
LOS ANGELES — Pop star Britney Spears is taking full advantage of her new freedoms following the ending of her 13-year conservatorship by taking to…
TRUTH Social User Data Comes Pre-Hacked
PALM BEACH, Fla. — Users signing up for TRUTH Social, the social media platform started by former President Donald J. Trump, will not only be…
Help! Nobody Came to My Show Tonight Even Though I Worked My Ass off on That One Promo Tweet This Morning!
Dude, what the fuck? Doors opened like an hour ago and no one’s here! Now I’m texting all my friends like, “You need to get…
Tasteful Nude Distastefully Masturbated To
PHILADELPHIA — Local man Eddy Taylor showed his appreciation for a beautifully composed and tastefully shot nude photo of his former co-worker posted on social…
We Need Cyberbullying, Otherwise Our Kids Won’t Know How To Defend Themselves in the Comments Section of the Real World
Now that many schools have gone virtual, we need to address cyberbullying. Specifically, how necessary it is. Sure, in the past cyberbullying may have gotten…
CUPERTINO, Calif. — Facebook services suffered the longest outage in over a year, leading directly to a massive wave of Americans finally getting vaccinated for…
Remember bars? Remember partying until the break of dawn in your favorite dive spot while the glow of New York City lights up the faces…
Engagement Announcement Overshadowed by More Popular Couple Adopting Dog
SEATTLE — Newly engaged couple Daryl Stein and Hannah West are absolutely livid that their celebratory post got significantly less likes than their friend’s post…