Dianne Nora
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AMHERST, N.Y. — Claudia Piper has selected the dress that she will vomit André Spumante all over this New Year’s…
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Yancy Lee Crawford
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INDIANAPOLIS – A small but visibly-confused group of free thinkers stormed the HI-FI Annex stage to incoherently question the connection…
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Patrick Coyne
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COLLINGSWOOD, N.J. — A local gang of librarians are accused of assaulting homeowner Jessica Wheatley over the installation of a…
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Nick Ortolani
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GARY, Ind. — Cass Pollard was shocked this Christmas to discover that their partner’s family apparently opens Christmas presents stone-cold…
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Yancy Lee Crawford
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SOUTH BEND, Ind. – Notorious asshole Bill Finley was kidnapped in the middle of the night by a disembodied paranormal…
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Jus Kaplan
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Perpetual IPA drinker Benson Watley is reportedly relieved, albeit secretly, that he can now enjoy hard seltzers…
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Dan Kozuh
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ATLANTA — Two cubicle neighbors who haven’t seen one another in over twenty-four months are basically caught up on one…
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Peter Woods
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LEXINGTON, Ky. — Local musician Teddie Hutchinson broke his 23-day streak of avoiding anything resembling a natural food when he…
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Brett McCabe
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LINKÖPING, Sweden — Confused audience members were shocked at a recent Forest Floor show when the band, dressed in matching…
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The Hard Times Staff
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ORLEANS, Mass. — Local tattoo enthusiast Danny Lipinski’s latest tattoo depicting the cast of “Friends” engaged in a pansexual orgy…
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