Jay Chanoine
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NEW YORK ⏤ Recently debuted African American muppet Elijah Walker was fatally shot by Sesame Street police after officers mistakenly…
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BOULDER, Colo. — Unpopular yet devastating virus COVID-19 announced it will be partnering with Mass Shootings in a co-headlining killing…
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Ed Smith
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LOS ANGELES — Local Twitter user Frederick Peterson, better known by his handle @freddiepeteyboy682, went on a tragic cancel spree…
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Kevin Tit
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NEW YORK — A visibly desperate and agitated President Donald Trump loaded his IMI Desert Eagle handgun today and travelled…
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Mark Bouchard
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CHICAGO — Chicago Police Sgt. Connor Ring is on paid administrative leave after he shot a toddler in the face…
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NEW YORK — NYC Police Commissioner Dermot Shea confirmed today that police shooting targets all come standard with their backs…
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Russell Brooks
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SAN FRANCISCO — Friends and family were left looking for answers after a lone IGN writer stormed out of the…
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Lauren Lavín
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AKRON, Ohio — Local fourth-grader Vincent “Vinny” Ortiz-Galt felt “I don’t know, just bad, I guess” about wearing a homemade…
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Patrick Coyne
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GREENVILLE, Vt. — Lifelong Greenville resident Jordan Mateusz struggled to recall yesterday which of the many tragedies that befell his…
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Kyle Sekaquaptewa
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ODESSA, Texas — Local man Grant Hopkins informed his friend group today that he can’t make it to this mass…
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