Nathan Kamal
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September 3, 2021
WASHINGTON — Dr. Christine Giles, a scientist at the Global Science Research Institute, just ripped a printing document off an…
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John Danek
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November 6, 2020
GENEVA — Scientists at the European Organization for Nuclear Research discovered yesterday that Iron Maiden’s 8:46-long “Brighter Than a Thousand…
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Louie Aronowitz
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September 28, 2020
ATLANTA — A team of male researchers reportedly discovered the cure for COVID-19 yesterday, mere seconds after a correlation between…
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The Hard Times Staff
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February 19, 2020
WASHINGTON — Scientists at the Gibson Institute of Environmental Studies issued a stunning new report yesterday, claiming the devastating effects…
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Andrew Murphy
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January 3, 2020
BOSTON — A landmark study by a rowdy crew of sloshed scientists at the Harvard School of Drunk Studies have…
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Bobby Korec
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December 27, 2019
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Behavioral scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology announced a breakthrough discovery of a theoretical fourth option…
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Patrick Coyne
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October 25, 2019
BOSTON — A research team of manly scientists believe they may have discovered a third emotion, in addition to anger…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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October 2, 2019
WASHINGTON — A harrowing new study by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency found that the encroaching threat of climate change…
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LOS ANGELES — Scientists warn that, without decisive and immediate action, California could become the topic of all songs by…
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Bobby D. Lux
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December 26, 2018
WASHINGTON — Scientists researching the life expectancy of punks now claim that the first punk to live a full 65…
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