I hate authority. From cops to judges to teachers to politicians, I flat out refuse to partake in bootlicking of any form. This tongue will…
Of all the questions that children and children at heart have for the jolly old elf St. Nicholas, number one has to be “as an…
SEATTLE — Beloved Christmas icon Santa Claus announced today that he is starting a GoFundMe campaign after his sleigh was broken into while on his…
CHICAGO — Holiday icon and present delivery mogul Santa Claus admitted this morning that he snuck Bandcamp links to his latest lo-fi EP, “Jingle Beats…
This holiday season, we here at The Hard Times wanted to offer our audience something nice. With all those expensive goods wrapped up and sitting…
NORTH POLE — Members of the organization Stop Treating Animals Badly [STAB] rescued eight reindeer yesterday that were allegedly being exploited by a reclusive hoarder…
Ol’ St. Nicholas is right around the corner, coming to spread his good cheer across the planet. In his workshop every year, hundreds of elves…
NORTH POLE — As Christmas nears, Santa’s elves and their families are starting to feel the effects of the modern toy economy as they enter…
It starts earlier every year. The lights, the music, the “harmless” lies that make children think the world gives a damn about their little wants…
Smash. The. Patriarchy. As we exit 2019 and enter the new roaring ‘20s it’s time to dispel the myth that a cis white male can…
NORTH POLE — Jolly Old Saint Nicholas admitted he was slightly irritated last week when his workshop was flooded by letters imploring him to visit…
We have to tighten the borders in this country. And for once, I’m not talking about Mexico, or Alaska! No, this time I’m talking about…
NORTH POLE — Santa Claus shocked Christmas enthusiasts worldwide today by launching a Patreon campaign to fund his 2018 world tour, setting off speculation about…
Pere Noel. Kris Kringle. The Winter Easter Bunny. For centuries, children have lined up to meet Santa Claus and ask him to fulfill their every…