sad Archives - Page 21 of 31

pantera, fan, metal, weird, angry, ignorant, lame, annoying, sad, collard shirt, plaid, long hair, dirty, metalhead, dimebag darrell, southern, stupid

Pantera Fan Uses “Intellectual” As Slur

Wilson Conkwright • March 13, 2021

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local Pantera fan Blane Butts referred to another customer at Ingles Supermarket as an “intellectual” yesterday in…

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man, woman, dog, coffee, make, boil, heat, funny, sad, weird, boring, lame, brew, cup, grounds, drink, anxiety, buzz, wired, wake up

Man Convinced Coffee Tastes Better After Making it in Much More Inconvenient Way

Daniel Arnold • March 12, 2021

TACOMA, Wash. — Local coffee aficionado Sage Davis claimed today that he finally perfected his method for brewing the perfect…

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Woman Calls Cops On Person for Not Having Home to Display Liberal Lawn Sign

Sarah Feliciano • March 10, 2021

LOS ANGELES — Self-proclaimed activist Jane Lipton is in hot water with her community today after calling the cops on…

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festival, lame, weird, music, sad, poster, yeah yeah yeahs, system of a down, interpol, weird, loser, bridge, california, golden gate, lame, covid, quarantine, isolation, crowd, gathering

Adorable Music Festival Thinks It’s Happening in 2021

John Danek • March 10, 2021

SAN FRANCISCO — The Day by the Bay Music Festival very sweetly doubled down on announcing lineup reveals and VIP…

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room raiders, stain, semen, cum, shit, piss, blood, diarrhea, gross, blacklight, dark, bedroom, van, teenager, mtv, show, host, TV, reality tv, drama, skater

Where are they now? Every guy with stained sheets on Room Raiders

Rebecca Acevedo • March 8, 2021

Of the 178 reality shows MTV released between 2002-2005, none of them quite popularized using a blacklight to look for…

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30-Year-Old Found Dead After Standing up Too Fast

Josh Klasco • March 5, 2021

DENVER — Local man Matti Mukdam was found dead in his apartment last week, one day after his 30th birthday,…

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NSA Agent Braces Self as Woman Types “semicharmedlife lyrics” in YouTube for Ninth Time Today

Krissy Howard • March 4, 2021

FORT MEADE, Md. — U.S. National Security Agent Dan Briggs mentally prepared himself for another four minutes of unadulterated sing-alongs…

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coheed & cambria, tattoo, nerd, harry potter, deathly hollows, permanent, embarrassing, explain, customers, cool, metal band, loser

Coheed & Cambria Tattoo Mistaken for “Deathly Hallows” Tattoo Results in Same Judgement

John Danek • March 3, 2021

SAVANNAH, Ga. — Record store employee Ian Benedict endured yet another judgement by a customer yesterday, who thought his Coheed…

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Metronome Clearly Speeding Up and Slowing Down

John Danek • March 2, 2021

COVINGTON, Ky. — Neophyte bassist Braxton Reynolds came to the startling realization last week that his metronome apparently jumps wildly…

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Unemployed Kevin Sorbo Sends Ben Shapiro His Headshot Just in Case

Bobby Korec • February 27, 2021

LOS ANGELES — Out-of-work actor and outspoken conservative Kevin Sorbo sent his professional headshot to political commentator and apparent filmmaker…

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