Patrick Coyne
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CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa — Amateur musician Ryan Mason spent countless hours through the last couple weeks crafting a flyer for…
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Tom Peters
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ODESSA, Texas — Touring hardcore band Mormon Conversion Unit was criticized last night for failing to observe the established etiquette…
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Nick Ortolani
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AUBURN, Maine — Local man David Strathe asked locals yesterday where he could donate blood while frantically attempting to balance…
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Dustin Meadows
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COLUMBUS, Ohio — Former skater and aging punk Brett Ryerson claimed his spot yesterday as the world’s biggest Pulley fan,…
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Patrick Coyne
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BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Recently deceased man Jerry Davidson confessed on his deathbed last week that Juggalos, the clown-faced fans of…
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Mark Maira
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ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Newly related step-siblings Kara Sullivan and Aiden Zendowski have very little to no sexual chemistry, confused and…
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Freelancer
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PRIPYAT, Ukraine — Officials at the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant discovered yesterday a fourth HAIM sister buried beneath a previously…
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Jeff Cardello
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MESA, Ariz. — Indie-folk band The Fox and the Nightingale discovered during a jam session at their new practice space…
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The Hard Times Staff
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LONDON — “Black Mirror” show creator Charlie Brooker admitted today that he’s struggling to conceive of the scariest thing a…
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Dan Kozuh
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Everyone knows this about me — if a dude walked into this bar right now with a gun and fired…
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