RICHMOND, Va. — Following a failed attempt to kickstart a career in sandwich artistry, local man Mike Barkley officially enrolled in bartending school earlier today,…
BETHLEHEM, Penn. — Twenty-hour-per-week GameStop employee Max Landry recently revealed his true calling as a “full-time Marxist,” insisting that he was, in fact, pursuing Marxism…
As new media pioneers and the platform for futuristic four-dimensional storytelling, The Hard Times is always seeking new ways to engage and educate our coveted millennial taste-masker demographic.…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — A recent gathering for the National Policy Institute, a white supremacist think tank looking to rebrand under the term “alt-right,” outed newbie Michael Sanders…
ISLIP, N.Y. — Tommy Kersten, 26, suffered severe injuries after being brutally attacked by a shark while crowd surfing at a Long Island punk show…
SEATTLE — Local man Brian Reynolds embarrassed himself again thanks to his unique skill of transforming into a historian of any music genre while in the…
MIAMI – Local musician Harry Corbin, the experienced songwriter and guitarist of veteran pop-punk band The Restless Jets, has finished recording what experts project to…
MORRIS PLAINS, N.J. – Local mathcore band Obtuse Heart released a new album entitled Life Is But 58008 last week, including cover art reading “BOOBS”…
BEND, Ore. — Noted coward and yellow-belly Michael Goldwater could not muster the courage to reject a second copy of a flyer he’d just been…
SAN FRANCISCO — Friends of local punk Derek Evans report they are already fed up with his anti-Christmas rants that accompany every holiday season, a…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — U.S. Vice President-elect Mike Pence once again found himself in an uneasy position with constituents he will soon represent, as he was…
SOMERVILLE, Mass. — The long-awaited reunion of seminal Northeast emo outfit The Silver Hour ran into a scheduling conflict as the bar area of the…
CHICAGO — Swamp Smut drummer Logan Stone discovered a text message following his set on Thursday night, reading, “What time r u playing?”, sent from…
SEATTLE — A mad bomber wired local speed metal band Adrenaline Enema to explode if they play at less than 300 BPM, according to ongoing…
BERKELEY, Calif. – Excitement turned to disappointment this week as zinesters across the United States received a brand new issue of the seminal punk zine…