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Carfax Fox Diagnosed With Coronavirus

NEW YORK — The Carfax Car Fox TV mascot shocked the world this past Monday as the latest to be diagnosed with the COVID-19 virus.

“Thanks for all the good vibes you’ve been sending me: I’m in good spirits, just resting at home with my loved ones,” said Car Fox in an IGTV video. “I was feeling a little under the weather this past weekend, and thought perhaps the right thing to do would be to get checked out… and I’m incredibly glad I did. All that’s left to do right now is hide out for a little bit, keep safe and do my part to ‘flatten the curve,’ as everyone else should. But, hey — remember to stay safe by checking the history of any car you plan to purchase through Carfax, and I’ll talk to you all more soon.”

Carfax immediately released a statement following Car Fox’s video.

“Our hearts go out to our dear friend and leader, and we wish him a speedy recovery,” said Carfax spokesperson Natalie Franks. “His health is paramount to us, and in that spirit, all foreseeable public appearances and shoots featuring our Car Fox have been canceled indefinitely. If you are buying or selling a used car, please remember to clean it thoroughly — COVID-19 could be transmitted even during something as simple as a test drive.”

Friends and peers worldwide have reached out in support of Car Fox since his announcement.

“I’ve known Car Fox for over 10 years. He’ll be fine — that’s one tough-ass fox, and brilliant to boot, ” said fellow mascot The General on his podcast, “Under The Helmet.” “If you’re as smart as he is, you’ll follow suit and keep yourself safe so we can all continue to beat this together.”

Health officials are hopeful that this latest celebrity diagnosis will finally convince those still skeptical about the severity of the virus.

“It somehow wasn’t enough when it got Tom Hanks. We hope this would be enough to get everyone to finally take this seriously,” says New York State Health spokesperson Terrence Samson. “Even our mascots, whether beloved or mediocre, are equally at risk. We implore everyone — mascot community included — to take all steps necessary to protect themselves and prevent any further possible spread.”

At press time, a screenshot surfaced of a deleted tweet from the GEICO gecko, referring to Car Fox’s diagnosis as “fake” and a “shameless, tasteless publicity stunt.” The gecko could not be reached for comment.