Everything you wear in middle school is statement about your identity. From your shoes to the sweatshirt, your clothes help your peers recognize where you…
CERRITOS, Calif. — Guitarist Mike Magrann of the seminal ’80s punk group Channel 3 faced a stern warning from his doctor yesterday that bands with…
BOSTON — The Pints Of Blood fest announced a new set of guidelines for this year’s event, declaring age restrictions of “16 to enter, 45…
TEMECULA, Calif. — Indie singer-songwriter Marcy Morrison’s entire fanbase died last night in a ritualistic mass suicide, taking place during a performance of her most…
RIVERBANK, Calif. — Meshuggah’s latest album The Violent Sleep Of Reason is riddled with hidden Morse code distress patterns from guitarist Fredrik Thordendal, according to…
ROANOKE, Va. — Self-described anarchist and tabletop gamer “Grimey” Grady Cook stunned his gaming group earlier this week with his “surprisingly strict” enforcement of the…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — A senseless crowd killing incident late last night during a heavy breakdown left six people severely annoyed, according to multiple eyewitnesses. The bothersome…
DENVER — The pit at famed punk venue The Safe Room was packed with teary-eyed loved ones and well-wishers on Thursday night, as the flayed…
PHILADELPHIA — Local 33-year-old Seth Bourne is completely unable and unwilling to buy any shoes that are not specifically designed for skateboarding, according to concerned…
BOULDER, Colo. — Local crustie Dylan Waters was asked to hold his pose for “just a little bit longer” while a portrait artist added the…
QUANTICO, Virginia — Chicago is officially the most dangerous band in America, due to numerous instances of “friendly fire” roadie deaths, drive-by tour bus shootings,…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — An unsolicited rubbing of the arm of local woman Sarah Collins early yesterday evening confirmed her three tattoos as “100 percent authentic,”…
CLEVELAND — Touring roadie Russ Little made $40 last night simply by standing near the entrance of a free show held at local venue The…
BROOKLYN — A neighborhood garden has been left to the elements a full 60 days ahead of projections in a “triumph of underachievement,” according to…
MONTREAL — Canadian indie-rock icons Arcade Fire are planning to layoff 400 nonessential members by 2021 due to budgetary cutbacks, according to leaked internal memos.…