Patrick Crooks
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November 21, 2020
SEATTLE — Local man Brian Preston failed moments ago to covertly adjust his balls, accidentally drawing the attention of everyone…
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Steve Yuen
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November 21, 2020
CULVER CITY, Calif. — Former “Pimp My Ride” contestant and man currently living out of “the dopest Civic in SoCal”…
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Eli Johnson
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November 21, 2020
PHILADELPHIA — Protesters demanding an end to police brutality found themselves in an awkward situation today when they applauded riot…
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John Dixon
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November 21, 2020
SEATTLE — Local punk Branson Jones died from multiple stab wounds last week after falling onto the pin side of…
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Patrick Crooks
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November 20, 2020
BOWIE, Md. — The staff of Free State Digital are reportedly at their wits end over sales rep John Morris’s…
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Stephen Bell
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November 20, 2020
WASHINGTON — Onlookers at the traditional Thanksgiving White House turkey pardoning ceremony were left unsurprised today after President Trump attempted…
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Mike Civins
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November 19, 2020
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Music fan Laura Kesrick’s insecurities were confirmed yesterday after discovering an alarming number of favorite albums in…
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Parker Newman
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November 19, 2020
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local man Charlie Miller made the bold decision today to only listen to canceled bands on Spotify…
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Ryan Danley
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November 18, 2020
SAN FRANCISCO — Local woman Amber Stevens is looking forward to a return of her favorite pastime of crying outside…
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James Knapp
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November 18, 2020
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local 13-year-old Damien Glass suddenly sprouted a pencil-line mustache yesterday moments into his first listen of Motorhead’s…
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