RACINE, Wis. — Local accountant and not-much-else Gary Wilkerson is alive despite astronomical odds to the contrary, according to sources who’ve already forgotten his name.…
WASHINGTON — Right-wing pundit Tucker Carlson drew immense criticism yet again this week over comments he made defending Stage IV colon cancer after it took…
WATERLOO, Iowa — A local couple’s relationship elevated to the next level yesterday after boyfriend Logan Carpenter featured a photo of his girlfriend Naima Alford…
GOTHAM CITY — Billionaire Bruce Wayne, who recently revealed himself to be the masked vigilante known as Batman, has stepped away from his crusade for…
IRVINE, Calif. — Local dad and man who frequently wears his sunglasses on the back of his head Jared Stein spent the majority of a…
Six years ago, we took up the ambitious project of ranking every punk song ever recorded: a colossal catalog spanning five decades and over a…
SAN FRANCISCO — Music aficionado and frontman for alternative metal band Faith No More, Mike Patton, admitted today that he just doesn’t understand why so…
TOLEDO, Ohio — Local man Joseph Whitt described moments ago his relationship with hardcore tankie and politically communist girlfriend Stephanie Arlin as being “totally workable…
LOS ANGELES — Local record store Forever Records is offering a new home delivery service, in which a crate of personally selected vinyl is sent…
WASHINGTON — RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel announced today that the fourth night of the Republican National Convention will feature wall-to-wall advertising from their new exclusive…
HACKENSACK, N.J. — A new report from the Brookings Institute has found that nationwide gym closures due to the coronavirus have left the nation’s weird,…
ISLIP, N.Y. — Everything Done in Latin frontman Lawrence Joseph has lost interest in the band he’s been part of for 15 years after the…
FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Callahan’s Casket Emporium will offer a “Back to School Blowout Sale” this year, offering discounts of up to 50% on last year’s…
LOS ANGELES — Legendary metal band Goop has reunited after seven years apart to release a boring, flavorless craft beer dubbed “Goop Soup,” disappointed fans…
SIOUX CITY, Iowa. — Local man Derrick Carney was mercilessly beaten within an inch of his life last night not long after learning that police…