TEMPE, Ariz. — Punk band Precedent Smashers celebrated the release of their new album “Bash the Cheeto” yesterday, which they believe will be the final…
DAYTON, Ohio — Self-described ‘investor and former plaintiff in a PAC 12 rowing/college admissions scandal, Braden Wade, embarked on a “holistic communications revamp” by adding…
WALNUT CREEK, Calif. — Every single member of the local band Starving Hysterical were seriously considering going back to school to earn Masters degrees at…
DENVER — Local beagle Danzig used what may be the first words uttered by a canine last week, allegedly to offer to fetch his owner…
WASHINGTON — Father Damien Karras was elated to hear during a recent conversation with the demon Pazuzu that his recently deceased mother, Mary Karras, was…
UNITED STATES — A gathering of townies from across the country is expected to begin at around 5 p.m. today and end sometime before the…
CHICAGO — Local punk Gary “Crutch” Burke’s girlfriend Jacquelyn Flowers, who helped Burke get off of drugs, stop living on the street, and is paying…
DENVER — Local man Matti Mukdam was found dead in his apartment last week, one day after his 30th birthday, as a result of standing…
NEW YORK — Beloved author Judy Blume and maligned Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine are set to become unlikely collaborators as they plan to coauthor the…
CAPITOLA, Calif. –– Awkward man Bryan Erdman revealed Monday that he is never quite sure what to do with his hands during sex, and always…
FORT MEADE, Md. — U.S. National Security Agent Dan Briggs mentally prepared himself for another four minutes of unadulterated sing-alongs today after watching Lynn Lozano…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — The French film “La Joie des Moineaux,” allegedly incomprehensible in its native language, is even more confusing for foreign viewers when watched…
SCARSDALE, N.Y — Local mom Penelope Chapman is under fire today for letting her underage children buy stocks from home instead of waiting until they…
SAVANNAH, Ga. — Record store employee Ian Benedict endured yet another judgement by a customer yesterday, who thought his Coheed & Cambria symbol forearm tattoo…
SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Cool landlord and champion of the working man Jenny Holmes is allegedly only asking for references, proof of employment, and a…