LANCASTER, Pa. — Hundreds of metalcore bands were seen scurrying off in different directions in a local factory late yesterday evening after night watchman Bill…
BERNALILLO, N.M. — The abandoned crusts on a medium, two-topping pizza purchased and eaten yesterday evening were seen in an entirely new way late this…
SEATTLE — New grocery store hire and hardcore punk Dan Lorenz has reluctantly chosen an alternative rock fan as his strongest workplace acquaintance, thanks to…
Many so-called critics will tell you that the show “Dinosaurs” was a visionary masterpiece and technological breakthrough in television. But in hindsight, “Dinosaurs” was downright…
LUBBOCK, Texas — Chicken farmer Todd Lowe admitted today that he’s fed up with the stream of people who are impeding his farm work by…
ATLANTA — The CDC issued new guidance this week aimed at expanding COVID-19 vaccine access to individuals currently experiencing any age-related struggles chronicled by The…
WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — Funeral preparations are already underway following the untimely passing of rapper and actor Earl Simmons, better known as DMX, and is…
LOS ANGELES — Nine Inch Nails’ frontman Trent Reznor is reportedly preparing an upcoming national tour with bandmates staffed exclusively with “random dudes” he found…
NEW YORK — Fortune magazine released the first-ever Misfortune 500 list last week, citing a need to highlight the “fucking losers of capitalism foolish enough…
The Ramones have one of the most iconic looks in punk. Not only did they spend a majority of their time looking as punk as…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — A study published Thursday in the University of Michigan’s Journal of Human Psychology confirmed that an old lady librarian going, “SHHHHHHHHHHH!”…
Yes, we’re living through a global pandemic and COVID numbers are rising every day, but it’s still Rex Manning Day. Since the original release of…
TRAVIS COUNTY, Texas — Local college student Jason Manzano expertly danced around the subject of vaccination rollout last week upon returning home on break from…
NEW ORLEANS — Clint Frenzy, the legendary jazz drummer known for his innovative yet traditional style, reportedly holds his fork the same “kind of weird”…
INDIANAPOLIS — Members of sludge band RESINator expressed a desire to play faster, heavier death metal, but admitted that they are just exhausted all day,…