Zach Raffio
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GRAND ISLAND, Neb. — Local doctor Harvin Smill found himself visibly sweaty this morning responding with a mumbled sequence of…
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DUXBURY, Mass. — Local affluent teen Cody Milligan was confused by President Biden’s recent pardon of people arrested for Marijuana…
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Joe Rumrill
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CHELSEA, Mich. — The right leg of local One Man Band “Dandy Dale’s Ragshackle Ramtime Revue” is leaving to pursue…
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Patrick Crooks
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BALTIMORE — Relatives of recently deceased punk Bryan Allen decided to postpone the beginning of his funeral until a few…
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Tim Graham
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Primus’ explosive debut “Suck on This” is a live recording that perfectly captures the idiosyncratic band and their bassist frontman…
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PARIS — Kanye West continued to cause a stir at Paris Fashion Week when he followed up his controversial “White…
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Chris Bowen
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WASHINGTON — The Smithsonian Institute presented guitar icon Slash with the rare opportunity of performing while wearing the exact top…
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Patrick Coyne
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SHERIDAN, Wyo. — Elder millennial Connor Allison suffered an existential crisis upon realizing the actor playing a “geriatric old fart”…
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Chester Stillwater
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WHEELING, W. VA — Aging punk roommate Dennis “Onion” Wilkins ritualistically bequeathed the key that allows them to steal toilet…
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Local tattoo artists are preparing for a huge wave of clients requesting the absolute stupidest, dumbshit tattoos…
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